A quick update

It's quiet on the project. Suman's in the kitchen. Mitali is washing her hair. Bhola and Amie have gone to Godda to buy new books for the kids. We are switching to teaching Science and Social Studies in Hindi and Amie has kindly offered to buy them for the school. While there Bhola will also pick up a few things we need for the project. Hopefully they'll be back by lunch time.

Amie has had a bug in her stomach for the past couple of days. We don't know what brought on the diarrhoa. I certainly don't want her to eat anything in Godda except food. She lived on boiled banana for a whole day yesterday and today, hopefully, she will be able to consume some "real" food. Of course, for her real food is chocolates!

The kids haven't come to school because the final exams finished yesterday and we declared today a holiday. Bhola will bring some printed report cards from Godda and we will be handing out results on Monday. All the kids in classes 3 and 4 have passed. Some kids in classes 1 and 2 have failed. And almost half of nursery has failed! So we will only be able to admit 10 new kids for next year if those who failed stay on. Admissions of the old children will take place on the 8th. Then we'll know how many kids are going to be re-admitted to school. There's some rumours that quite a few Burhikura kids are planning to join the school in Devdand. I don't know why. But I presume it's because they aren't able to cope with the standard of education here. In fact, most of the children who failed in the lower classes are from Burhikura. But now that we are switching to Hindi medium, perhaps they will stay?

Personally, I feel school did not go very well this year because of lack of teachers. Even though the class 4 children did a much better job of teaching than any "teacher" we hired, somehow the parents of the children -- especially the ones from Burhikura, did not take them seriously. Could this be one reason why they have decided to send their children to Devdand? We'll know on the 8th. Sometimes rumours are just that -- rumours.

There will be no Class V next year. Lalita and Prahlad are going to join Saraswati Shishu Mandir in Devdand. Radha, Anajana and Kartik have decided to take private tuitions in a coaching class in Devdand and then appear for their Matric Exams. Raiman wishes to join the mission school in Agiya Mor but since his father isn't here, he said he will stay at home for a year before resuming his studies. But won't he forget everything in a year's time? Hence, we've come up with a solution for him. He'll be coming to school here like he used to. He'll teach the Nursery children for an hour and half and then hang around and study till school is over. We'll pay him a small amount for teaching Nursery. This way he can save up money for his schooling and also stay in touch with studies.

We have also decided to retain Kartik and Radha as "teachers". They can come to teach in the morning and go for their coaching classes in the evening. We'll give them an honorarium which will help them to buy books, pay for coaching, etc. Mitali, Bhola and I talked to them yesterday after the exams were over and they are very happy to continue being involved with the school.
I'm quite happy with this arrangement and so is everyone else.

On Monday Amie, Mitali and I are leaving for Kolkata. We hope to spend Christmas there. Mitali has invited us to a party a friend of her's is throwing. I haven't been to a party for ages and I'm quite looking forward to it. Amie is glad that she will be able to spend that time in a city where she can be online and in touch with her family. She's looking forward to the party and to meeting a few new people. Bhola is also leaving with us. But he's going to Ranchi to pick up two of the laptops that Intel has donated. He'll be back on Wednesday. School will be closed meanwhile. From Thursday, however, the children will be coming to school and familiarizing themselves with the new books and also so a bit of "shram daan" around the project. The trees need to be watered, grass needs to be cut and the new classrooms cleaned up in preparation for next year.

Amie will be back on the project on the 27th. I'll return on the 30th with Neera Kapoor, a friend and also one of Dakshinayan's Trustees. This will be her first visit to the project. She'll spend a couple of days here. She and I will then return to Kolkata from where she will catch a flight to Delhi. I'll stay on till the 6th and then return to the project with Dani and Tak and then perhaps stay on till the end of the month.

One of the reasons why I have not been writing the blog is that I have been away from the project quite often. And another reason is that while I'm here, I've been quite ill. In fact, I have just recovered from yet another bout of malaria. Come to think of it, I've actually been continuously unwell since the start of November! Hopefully, I will stay well over the coming days. I don't wish to miss the Christmas party and I certainly don't will to be ill when we step in to the new year.

For the time being, I have shelved the idea of starting the orphanage/old age home. It will require a lot of commitment, energy and resouces and quite frankly I am not sure I am up to it at the moment. I'm thinking more along the lines of starting a vocational trainning school in Bolpur. Let's see how things shape up. But one thing I'm certain about is that I will no longer stay continuously on the project. I'll most likely set up base in Bolpur towards the start of 2010 and visit the project every now and then. I'm sure Bhola, Kartik and Radha and the volunteers will be able to run the show. And in any case, I'll be round the corner if I'm needed. I feel if we have just one more teacher, we will be all set to move into the new year at the new pace.

Well, that's all from me for the moment. Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. I'm sure I'll be writing again before the year is over. If not, expect the next entry in 2010.

From Roldih yet again

Sometimes, where there's a lot to share, it becomes difficult to write -- almost as if there's a news logjam. It's been there for a while now. Ever since I got back to the project from Bolpur. Unfortunately, since I left Kolkata I have been quite unwell. The cold and cough I can put down to change of season. But I can't understand the low-grade continuous fever and the headache.

Anyway, that too should be a good excuse for not updating the blog. I just don't feel like sitting at the computer. All I wish to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. But sleep eludes me. So once in a while I drag myself to the desk and reply to pending emails. And of course, put off writing this blog!

I would have probably put off writing this entry, had it not been for the fact that I am feeling very lonely at the moment and dinner's still an hour away! Suman is busy in the kitchen and I am in my room. There's no one else here. Jon left last Thursday. Jemma left on Saturday. That leaves only Suman and me on the project.

It's pretty quiet once school is over. And the night becomes even more quiet now that winter is creeping up. Not many people about. Not even the dogs. Bruni spends most of her time sleeping in the sun or curled up on my easy chair once it get's dark. Sometimes she likes to sit in the kitchen near the oven. Sometimes she couldn't be bothered. She's pregnant and definitely not her cheery self these days. The only time she perks up is when you are eating something.

Even though I arrived last Sunday before last, I have not been teaching. Jon, Jemma and kids were in routine rhythm and I didn't wish to disturb it. Now that both Jon and Jemma are gone, I have started teaching again. I'm teaching classes 3 and 4 as usual and Bhola is somehow managing Nursery and classes one and two with the help of the "big boys and girls". This time when I got back I heard some complaints about them. I think the fact that they are teaching is making them too big for their non-existent boots! But now that I am back, they seem to be behaving as usual. What happens to people when I'm away? Suman plays the clown and behaves like a 5-year-old and Bhola becomes a giggly teenager!

But the project apparently returned to "normal" as soon as I stepped in through the gate. But how long will I stay? I know I'll be here for a few more months at least with a few trips to Kolkata or Bolpur in between. But I have finally decided to move away. I may set up base in Bolpur from where I can easily reach Kolkata or even Delhi if needed. Besides, with my failing health, I and a lot of my friends, feel that I should allow myself some "comforts" and be in some place where medical help is available. Considering all these, Bolpur seems ideally located. It's only a 5 hour drive from Roldih. And it's about 3 hours from Kolkata. It has all the amenities of a city and being a university town it has a good ambience and the people are cultured and intelligent. I won't lack intellectual stimulation for sure.

And it would certainly make sense for me to stay in Bolpur especially as I am all geared up to start the Ashram for Elders and Orphans. Though it's all in the planning stage and all I've got at the moment is a half-baked "concept", I'm sure I'm onto something that is not only close to my heart, but something that really excites me and gives a the necessary impetus to continue living a worthwhile life. I may life forever, but I know my years are numbered. And belive me, I'm being practical and not morbid.

If you wish to know more about Amrit Aangan -- Ashram fro Elders and Orphans, write to me. I'll s end you the "concept paper" which you can go through and give me more ideas and suggestions. I've already circulated it to a few people and I've received some very contructive critique. I certainly need to work on the concept some more before I can actually go out and seek help to transform it into reality. I've already seen the area where I wish to set it all up. But there's still a lot more work to be done at the planning stage before we can make a final blueprint. What's encouraging is that all those who have heard about it have been very enthused by the idea and have pledged their support. That in itself is a good sign.

So what about Roldih? At this point I don't really know. I will certainly not close it down. The school is providing "quality" education and I am sure the kids enjoy coming here to study. But the problem is that it's almost impossible to find teachers! How long could I possibly run this school single-handed? There's some hope that an ex-colleague, Deena Sah, may be re-joining us. It would really be good if he does. He's working elsewhere and is doing well. But he also wishes to come to Roldih because it's closer to his home than his present place of work. Besides, he's worked with me for 14 years -- both in Cheo and Paharpur and was at one point the coordinator of the Paharpur Centre. He knows the area since he belongs here. He knows me and he knows Dakshinayan. Besides, he's mature and will probably be a good "authority figure" which is so badly needed to make things function smoothly in this area. At this point I've got my fingers crossed.

Meanwhile, there's Bhola helping me out. He comes in the morning during school hours. Teaches the kids in nursery and class 1 and 2. Then he goes home to attend to his shop and newly-started taxi business. Then most evenings he comes back. Sometimes he goes on village visits -- at least he did go with Jon and Jemma to a few of the villages nearby.

So that's the story so far. It's amazing that even though I had so much to say, I've managed to wrap it all up in a few words! I'm sure there's much I've left out. But I'll be writing again soon. Right now, however, I have to go to the kitchen because Suman's calling me. ...

Back in Kolkata

I'm sorry that I have not been posting to the blog. The problem is not lack of news. In fact, there's so much happening that my mind is full of plans and I just couldn't bring myself to write anything for the blog.

Anyway, I'm in Kolkata at the moment. I am waiting for the city to wake up (I've been up since 5 am as usual). I checked mail and tried to work on the concept paper regarding the new ashram -- Amrit Aangan. And since I couldn't make much headway, I decided to write a few lines to fill you in on what's been happening since the last entry.

Jon arrived on the project on the 5th -- the same day that I got back to Roldih from Kolkata. He took to the project like a duck takes to water. Probably because he had already visited a couple of projects in the south and had done a bit of teaching. It was great to have him becaue he's also good company. And of course, that meant I didn't have to do much teaching. Which suits me fine at this point because my head of full of plans regarding Amrit Aangan. Also, I've had to make calls, contact friends and well-wishers and supporters. I'm thinking BIG about the new ashram and it will require huge amounts of funding. So while planning the new project I also have to ensure that there will be adequate support. In fact, I've been on the phone most of the time that I was on the project -- except for moments when I just sat and thought and thought.

Roldih was fine while I was away the last time. And thanks to Suman, the kids and Bhola, it continued to be fine while I was there. Then Jemma arrived on the 16th so that she could be on the project for Diwali which was on the 17th. Mitali arrived on the 17th and so suddenly the project became quite lively.

Diwali was fun but somewhat subdued because we could not buy too many crackers this time -- the price of firewords has risen and we were short of funds. But we did have a little "puja". Had some sweets as "prasad" and the children lit up the lamps and played around with the few sparklers and rockets and flowerpots that we could afford to buy. They had fun but I felt a bit sad at not being able to provide them with more. I felt particularly bad for the village kids -- I couldn't give them more than 2 sparklers each this time. Last year I had given them each a boxful of sparklers and rockets. If they were disappointed, they did not tell me.

Jon and Jemma had a nice time with the kids though and Jemma liked the fact that she was able to get to know some of the kids before she started teaching them. There's a new routine in place and so Jon, Jemma and the Class 4 kids are teaching and when I spoke to Jon yesterday he informed me that it's all going well.

Attendance has dropped. This is partly due to the fact that there have been a string of festivals -- Dussehra, Diwali, Bahiya Dooj, Chaat -- and also the government schools are holding some sort of exams. Since most of the children from Burhikura are enrolled in the government school, they were busy sitting for the exams. The kids from the tribal villages have been coming regularly.

Bhola is now officially in-charge of the project. He's back on Dakshinayan's payroll. He starts school and then goes home to attend to his business and comes back in the evening for village visits with Jemma and Jon. When he can, he also spends the night on the project. These days he's very busy with his "van" which is functioning as a taxi and from what I gather, he's making a neat income from it. I'm glad to have him taking care of the project while I am "distracted" and channelizing my energies elsewhere.

We have new plans for Roldih school. From next year, we are switching back to Hindi medium. The fact is that all the schools in the region are Hindi medium and after kids leave our school, they go and join Hindi medium schools anyway. So why not prepare them accordingly? We will follow the government prescribed books and syllabus. This will mean that we should be able to find teachers for all subjects except English. That will be a subject taught by the volunteers and by me when I am on the project. I would love to have some feedback from you regarding this.

I left the project on the 21st -- the day following my birthday. Mitali and Bhola sprung a surprise by bringing a cake! We had it in the evening with Darjeeling tea. It was great. Mitali presented me with some good tea, a track pant and pearl buttons for my kurtas. Bhola game me a set of pajama kurta and Jemma gave me a Maori good luck charm. Wow!!! I felt like a kid all over again!

We drove from the project to Bolpur in Bhola's car. It was a lovely drive except that we encountered too many "strikes" and had to take a long, long detour and made it to the train station just a few minutes before the train's departure. The journey was very comfortable even though the 4-hour journey from Roldih to Bolpur took 6 hours because of the detour. The train took only 2 and a half hours. Bhola discovered a shorter route and his return journey took only 3 hours and a few minutes!

Well, that's all for now. All's well in Roldih. Kolkata sucks. And I'd better get down to writing that concept paper now.

Back in Rodih

Jon (Jonathan) and I arrived on the project on Monday. I arrived at dawn and he at dusk. It started raining just as I stepped off the bus in Poreya Haat and continued to rain till a short while before he arrived on the project. So he had a little time to settle down before it started raining again.

In fact, it has been raining almost all week. I can’t remember getting so much rain in October. At times it seemed like we were in the middle of July when we get most of the torrential rains. There was a storm one night and Jon found that exciting till I told him that this place records the maximum numbers of lightning strikes in Jharkhand! In fact it is not unusual to hear that a few people have died from lightning strikes during these storms. That made him a bit thoughtful. He’s already seen too snakes so far. Both were poisonous tree snakes. So much for local belief that you can’t see snakes after Naag Panchami!

A day before I left Kolkata I was feeling feverish and tired. The bus journey did not help. And as soon as I got back to the project, I fell ill. I had fever and a constant headache. Bhola wanted to conduct a malaria check. I found it quite intimidating. I am not afraid of needles, but I didn’t want Bhola poking around. I decided to take my herbal medicine for malaria anyway. And it worked wonders. I’m feeling fine now. Till yesterday I was feeling feverish and fatigued.

We haven’t had rain for two days. Maybe the rains are over finally. About time too. It’s been bright and sunny. But also a bit hot and humid. The mornings are getting cooler and the evenings too. I am wondering if we are going to have winter as per schedule or whether winter too will be delayed this year.

The school functioned well while I was away. There were no complaints. No problems to sort out. In fact, life is quite relaxed on the project these days. Suman is doing whatever needs to be done. The children are studying and also taking care of the project. They have kept it clean and tidy and have planted marigold plants everywhere. There’ll be profusion of yellow soon. Winter is a great time to be here.

Since i have been ill, Jon has been filling in for me. He’s been teaching Class 3 and taking maths in Class 4. And of course the Class 4 children are continuing to teach Nursery and Classes 1 and 2. Well, just a few weeks more till we conduct the final exams. So I’d better get down to teaching Class 4! I’m looking forward to be back behind the desk from Monday.

There’s much to look for ward to next week. Jemma, another volunteer, arrives on Friday and Mitali arrives on the 17^th, which is Diwali Day. There is suppressed excitement. It’s a big day for all of us. It’s a sort of Foundation Day because we moved to Roldih from Paharpur on Diwali day in 2005. How time flies. We are all looking forward to lighting lamps and bursting crackers and eating sweets.

Going away from the project was good. It helped me to do a lot of thinking. I’ve come back with some new ideas regarding the future of this project and also my own future. I’ve decided to move away. Where? I haven’t decided yet. I’ll definitely set up a base in Delhi and perhaps one more in Kolkata. And I am now working towards setting up an old-age-home-cum-orphanage across the border in West Bengal, close to Shantiniketan – where Rabindranath Tagore started the Vishwa Bharati University. But more about that later. It’s all in the planning stage. I’m preparing the blue-print. It isn’t going to happen any day soon.

For the moment. I will be concentrating all my energies on trying to make Roldih a self-governing centre like Cheo. Bhola will be at the helm of affairs and I will continue to find support for the project and will visit it regularly to teach, to guide, to “set things right” if needed.

Jon and Bhola have gone to the village. It’s quiet here. I’ll sit on the veranda and enjoy listening to the birds coming home. It get’s dark very early these days. Winter is not far away.

Going Away

I’m going to be away for quite a few days, I told them. I may be gone 10 days or even two weeks. I’ll leave next weekend. Perhaps I should declare a two-week Durga Puja holiday?

No! No! They were all horrified. We just want two days off on the 27th and 28th for Navami and Dussehra. School should remain open on all the other days.

But I won’t be here, I protested. Who’s going to teach? There’s no one else!

We’ll continue to teach the smaller children Guruji. And we can always do some self study. There’s a lot to write. We haven’t been doing much writing of late. Please Guruji, don’t declare a holiday.

Sounds unreal, doesn’t it? Children not wanting a holiday even during festivals? But these are very special children from Baba Gyan Mandir. And the scene I’m describing took place this morning.

It’s true. I’m going away for a couple of weeks. I need a break. Too much has happened in the past two months and I need to get away to recharge myself and also reorganize my priorities. So I thought that this would be a good time to do it. Durga Pujas start from the 24th and last till the 28th. There’s Laxmi Puja on the 30th followed by Gandhi Jayanti on the 2nd. Many schools are going to be closed for these festivals and so I thought why not our school too? I’ll be away. And since Suman and I are the only people left on the project, it makes sense to close down the place for a few days. To the children, however, it does not make sense.

Yes, Suman is back. His “family issues” have not been sorted out in his favour. In fact, he has no family at all. His wife has left him and is living with another man. His cousins would rather not have him back in the village to stake claim to whatever little land he has. The ashram is the only refuge he has. So he’s back “home”. I’ve asked him to treat this place as such and live here in peace. I’m happy to have him back, especially as everyone else seems to have abandoned me!

For reasons known only to them, both Khagen and the new boy, Bijoy came to me on Wednesday evening, touched my feet and said we are leaving. When will you be back? I asked. We won’t be back. We are quitting. What could I say? So I opened the gate and let them go.

I called Bhola to ask if he knew anything about all this. He said no. He was just as shocked. When he asked them why they had quit, they said they had quit because I had yelled at them. On any other day, this may have been true. I don’t deny that I lose my cool and yell and scream at times. But definitely not on that day! It had been pouring rain since the night before and I hadn’t had any interaction with either of them except at lunch. And even then I had hardly spoken to them. So there must have definitely been some other reason why they left. The truth will reveal itself eventually, I suppose.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Everything is going smoothly. Suman is managing the work of the project pretty well. With the help of the children I am managing the school well too! Raiman and Prahlad are teaching in Nursery, Radha and Anjana in Class One and Kartik and Lalita in Class Two. Once in a while I sneak to peek to see how they are doing. And believe me, they are doing very well.

I had expected attendance to have dropped. But on the contrary, it has picked up! It had gone down to about 77 a week ago. It’s now climbed back. It was 82 yesterday. Today it was 83. Not bad!

The weather has been very wet all of this week. It has rained and rained throughout the week. Sometimes there were strong winds that threatened to blow away the tin roofs. Fortunately, that did not happen. In fact, we’ve been experiencing monsoon weather now when it’s too late. The paddy does not need rain at this point. It’s time for the sun to help them grow and ripen. Much of the maize crops have been destroyed by the gales. So the bumper maize crop we had expected will not happen. Since we planted late, our little maize patch is safe. We’ll probably get to eat a few “bhuttas” soon.

For me it has been a very depressing week. The apathy of the community towards the project and the lack of reliable and honest staff support has really depressed me. I’ve been wondering why I need to run a project in this godforsaken place. Thirty years is a long time and I have been feeling that I have done more than most people. It’s time to move elsewhere. But the response I got from the children this morning when I wanted to declare a holiday certainly cheered me up. I realize my time here has not been ENTIRELY wasted. I am now hopeful that the school will continue even if I decide to go away.

Snakes Don't Follow Calendars

I wish I could start this blog entry on a cheerful note. But I just had a visit from Ramnath. He had come by to hand in the monthly report for Cheo Centre. We talked about Cheo and life in general. We are the only two “originals” left in Dakshinayan. Unfortunately, however, our conversation left both of us feeling despondent at the end of it. He’s gone now.

Ramnath was feeling a bit low to begin with because he has recently lost three buffaloes which he had left with someone in Roldih for safekeeping. This is standard practice with people living in the hills. They leave their cattle with villagers living in the plains. In return the caretaker either gets to keep a calf or gets paid a fee.

Unfortunately, the man who was taking care of Ramnath’s buffaloes lost five animals – three of them belong to Ramnath and the other two belong to someone else in the village. He’s been trying to locate them for the past two months without much success. In such cases, the caretaker will have to pay Ramnath for the lost cattle. But since he is a very poor man, Ramnath has lost hope of recovering anything. Each buffalo would be worth at least 10,000 rupees. It would take the caretaker a life time to repay the amount. It took Ramnath, a lifetime's saving to acquire the three buffaloes!

To cheer him up, I asked him how his daughter and son were doing in college. He said they were doing fine. But he regrets sending them to college. He says that he is observing that instead of becoming better people, the children who get an education are becoming corrupt. Ramnath’s village, Garhsingla, has the maximum number of educated Paharias in this region. In fact, Ramnath’s eldest son, his brothers and cousins are all teachers. He’s very upset that his own son and his own brothers are not doing what they are being paid to do. They are just drawing fat salaries and not teaching. He is disgusted because these people are supposed to be teaching children from their own community -- the Paharias, considered a primitive and diminishing tribe!

Ramnath says I can understand a non-tribal teacher not wishing to come and live in the hills and teach our children. But when educated people (whoget pass marks by paying a bribe anyway) from within our own community don’t bother to teach our own children; how can we expect any progress or development? He is extremely disappointed with his own son and Suryanarain, his cousin.

Suryanarain used to be a teacher at the Cheo centre. He was a very good teacher. Unfortunately, we could not afford him at one point. So he left the organization but continued to teach in Garhgama, a village further into the interior. The village would collect money to pay him an honorarium. Because of his good work, he was later appointed as a teacher for the government-run literacy centre that was started in Garhgama. And that was the end of Suryanarain’s enthusiasm to teach! He now stays at home and goes to the block office to draw his salary every month. Ramnath and he get into frequent arguments over this.

I was telling Ramnath that the situation in and around Roldih is not different. The teachers in the government schools are from the community that they are supposed to teach. But don’t do their job. But does the community appreciate it if someone does their job? I said, the local folks don’t seem to notice that Dakshinayan is providing their children with world-class education. But what do they notice? That we have stopped giving the kids the weekly shampoo sachets! As if that’s the only reason why the kids come to school!

Fortunately, the children are a lot more sensible than their parents. Today was Teacher’s Day. I was quite pleasantly surprised when the kids came and touched my feet and gave me presents! I was about to tell them it’s not my birthday, when I realized why. It’s nice that they remembered. Later, at assembly, when I asked if they wished me to declare it a holiday (that’s what happens in other schools), with one voice they said no! So we had regular classes today.

School is doing fine. The Class 4 kids are doing a great job. Khagen, who was a bit wary initially, also grudgingly admits that the students are very good teachers. That makes me feel so proud. They are "my products”! They teach the way I do. But they are “nicer”. I’m the nasty guy who is called by the new teachers to hand out threats like – Obey your teachers! If you don’t bring your homework tomorrow, you’re out!

As a reward for being such good and cooperative students, I am showing them movies during breaks and sometimes after school. So far I’ve shown them the Ramayana (cartoon) and Tare Zameen Par… Next week I’ll show them Hanuman and a few Satyajit Ray movies made especially for children – the Feluda series of detective stories and the Goopi Gayeen trilogy. Most of the kids understand Bengali. I’m sure they’ll enjoy the movies. Unfortunately, most of the moives are black and white. I’ve asked all my friends to send me CDs or DVDs of good English movies – Born Free, Sound of Music… etc, etc… It will help the kids learn their English. I only wish I had a wider display screen.

Bhola told me that after Naag Panchami, the snakes disappear. I believed him. But I should have known better. Yesterday, we killed yet another snake – a viper this time. As usual, it was Bruni who pointed it out to us. It was trying to climb onto my veranda. I guess this snake did not know Naag Panchami was over! Usually it gets fairly chilly at nights by this time. But this year has been different. In fact, in September we are experiencing the kind of weather that we get in July. The snakes don’t obviously follow man-made calendars. Neither do the mosquitoes here. They should be disappearing now. But instead they seem to have proliferated and also developed a mean bite!

Another sad news is that Suman had to go back to his village because of some family issues. He owns a bit of land in his native village and he needs to be there to protect his property. Someone tried to sell it off behind his back. Also, it seems his wife may be divorcing him. He came to this area because of his marriage. Now since his marriage is not working out, he has probably decided to go back for a while and figure out what he wants to do next. The poor guy must be in terrible mental agony and turmoil. I do wish I could do something to solve his problems. I can help him protect his property if necessary. But I can’t mend his broken heart. That is something he has to sort out for himself. So I had to let him go. I’ve asked him to come back. He has promised to do so once he has sorted out his family issues. I am missing him terribly.

Bhola just brought in someone new – Bijoy. Another lad from a poor family who struggled hard and got himself some basic education. He’ll be good company for Khagen, who has been looking rather lost since Suman left. He just arrived a little while ago. I hope he will work out. So as you see, things are always in a state of constant flux here.

The weather is strange. At times it is really very hot and dry. Then it turns hot and humid. And right now, instead of autumn weather, it seems like July! It’s raining off and on and quite copiously too. Everything gets damp and cold when it does. At the moment it is blowing hard. It looks like lots of rain. And it is somewhat chilly! I may have to sleep indoors tonight. I’m not looking forward to that.

Weekend Blogs

Another Sunday gone -- almost. Soon the sun will set. The mosquitoes are going to attack and we'll try to have dinner as quickly as possible so that we can get to bed and hopefully have a good night's sleep. School starts early tomorrow. So we have to be up early too. Maybe I'll change the timing from next month. School could start at 8:30? Soon it is going to get chilly in the mornings.

Khagen and Suman have been busy doing house-cleaning. They have just discovered that all the

wooden beds have got termites! So we really need to do something before those creatures

demolish them! The question is what? Bhola probably knows. He'll probably be here this evening with meat for Bruni. He was here last evening when he went on his village visit to Rai tola -- especially to find out why Shivnarayan Rai isn't coming to school for over a month. It seem

s his father was quite ill and in hospital and Shiv and his brother (also in our school) had to go with the mother to the hospital to look after him. He will be coming to school from tomorrow.

Of late, I have been seriously thinking about discontinuing the blog. No. No. No. It has nothing to do with the recent controversy. I have thinking about it for a long time and also discussing it with Mitali from time to time. We have both been wondering if the blog serves a purpose. Does it really help the project?

Before I started the blog, I used to send out monthly newsletters. I've stopped doing that. And I suspect, that a lot of those who don't receive the newsletter any more, don't bother to read the blog either. Who has the time these days? They probably read the blog once a week. But by that time there is soooooo much to read.... you get the picture?

I know that some of our recent volunteers read the blog "regularly". But do they read it every

day? I doubt it. So where is the need for a DAILY blog? I was unable to write for a whole month. So what happened? A few people were concerned and did enquire as to what was wrong. But we could count them on the fingers of one hand! Most people did not even notice! Not even some of my friends!!! I'm exaggerating. We are in touch on the phone and so where's the need to read the blog. They are probably fed up with my whining anyway.

So here's the deal. Expect a weekly blog. I'll put it up on Saturday so that those interested have the whole weekend to read it. And I will send out a monthly newsletter which will reach even those who are least interested simply because they are on my mailing list! How does that sound?

I'll have lots of photos to upload. I'll have lots to say on weekends. And on other days I'll have lots of time to write my memoirs! Who knows, it may become a best-seller and earn lots of money and then fund the running of the project! There goes the dreamer. Now that I don't smoke I can't even put it in my pipe!

Reactions

The last blog entry evoked some very strong responses and reactions. Unfortunately, all this happened on FACEBOOK as a comment to some pictures I had uploaded! That wasn't the forum for such a discussion. Many people who follow the blog aren't connected to me on FACEBOOK. So I decided to copy the conversations there and paste them here as a blog entry.

While I am certainly not going to stop speaking my mind because of criticism, but I will certainly be a bit more circumspect about how I write what I write.

As I have said before. I'd like the blog to be more interactive. Please voice your opinions -- regarding the blog and the project, feel free to react to each others' comments... after all those who voice an opinion, should also be able to accept the opinions of others! But please try not to be too personal though I know sometimes, it's unavoidable.

Juthi Mitra

How can you appreciate beauty when you dont appreciate mother nature's gift- How could you send away the pet puppies to another village, it is like sending your child away and letting him/her die. I think it is a heartless act. Also it is pointless to blame your staff for the puppies because it is not their fault they were there in the first place.

Siddharth Sanyal

I really must be more careful HOW I write in future. If you read the blog properly you will realize I AM NOT BLAMING THE STAFF! It is NOT THEIR FAULT that they sent away the dogs. I've been wanting to get rid of the dogs because they were becoming a menace. I had mentioned this in a blog.

As for sending the pups away to die in another village, I think you are mistaken there. There are hundreds of stray dogs roaming around here. Most look a lot healthier than "our" dogs. The people in the other village where the dogs have gone, are know to my staff and they feel assured that the pups will be fed.

I agree with you that it's like sending your children away... and that's why I'm sad. But I did what I felt I had to do. Perhaps I should have asked you and others first about how to deal with a situation....

There are no doctors for PEOPLE in the area where I work. There are no VETS. There are HUMAN CHILDREN coming to the schools that I run and honestly I am more concerned about THEM.

The dogs ate up a chicken in the village and it became an incident. If "our" dogs go and bite someone in the village it could lead to a situation that might spin out of control. And what if they turned rabid? What if one of the school childrren got bitten? Where would I take the children for treatment?

There are hundreds of stray dogs here. Would you be willing to start a project to take care of them? I'd gladly lend you my support. All you need to do is bring a team of Vets here. Or arrange for them to come and stay here for a week. We could round up the dogs and have them vaccinated. I hope you will also be able to raise the money for the vaccines and other expenses because our project certainly can' afford it.

Perhaps I have no right to appreciate beauty because I am cruel to animals. But what about those who go to an art exhibition in Kolkata and walk past a dying old man lying on the footpath without even a passing glance?

There are hundreds of homeless stray pups in Kolkata. I hope you are doing something to ensure that they don't get run over or starve to death.

Yvonne Novak Matz

Hi Siddharth--I believe I read the blog properly, and you opened by "partially" faulting Suman and Khagen for your restless night, caused by the pups being gone. Short of Suman fathering the pups himself, I don't understand why his salary was threatened or how in any way he or anyone else would be responsible for the dogs. And he obviously took that threat seriously, along with your expressed displeasure for the dogs' presence. As long as Bruni has no bordered area where she can be outside and run without being mounted by stray males, it's just going to happen again. : ( I wish there were an herb or something natural she could be fed to stop ovulation as protection. I'm off to Google that...

Tincture of wild carrot flowers!

Danielle Grindlay

i find it quite ironic that people find it so easy to judge when they are completely disconnected from the project...perhaps we could all remember it is Sid's words - Sid's own guilt and judgement of HIMSELF - that we are reading...he doesn't include the details because he is UNAWARE of what is going on...he is merely trying to DEMONSTRATE the ... turmoil he is going through!
But thanks for ensuring future blogs will be sugar-coated and lack any depth in case SOME ppl get offended and jump to irrational conclusions...

Yvonne Novak Matz

Danielle, what's your problem? How has any comment been irrational and offensive, other than yours above? Siddharth repeatedly has asked for feedback on his posts, and he has asked me personally NOT to hold anything back, that he wants honesty. I spent a month on the project, just like you did, and spent hundreds of dollars shipping school ... esupplies for the children earlier this year. We are no more "connected" or "disconnected" than anyone else. You can thank us for the future "sugar coated" posts from Siddharth, and Siddharth can thank you that he receives no further feedback from me.

Danielle Grindlay

Yvonne i was talkin to Juthri! i hadn't even read your response yet...

i suppose i was a little over the top...it just makes me angry to see 'heartless' labels being thrown around when it's clear there's a little more to the issue than first considered...i hadn't even read Sid's own reponse to that remark yet before i angrily typed away...
Clearly he is big enough to defend himself...
And Yvonne i wasn't referring to your comments at all...

Siddharth Sanyal

Hmmmm... Thanks Dani... I don't mind the criticism... yes, when it's unreasonable, it hurts. But that's ok. It's best that people speak their minds openly and give me a chance to defend myself -- and not behind my back, like some do!

It's a little UNFORTUNATE that this was the forum chosen for it. I just uploaded a few pictures. People should have commented on that! Those who read the blog and had something to say, should have left their comments there! This is my PERSONAL space... And like you, the comments made here made a lot of people who REALLY know me personally, quite upset.

Don't worry Dani. I won't sugar-coat my blogs. But I do hope, people are going to comment about my blog at the blog site and not on FACEBOOK -- unless of course, they deliberately wish to be personal!

By the way, right now I feel like lynching the visitor who picked up Bruni and her brother off the streets and left them at the project. I should have gotten rid of them as soon as he had left the project.Everyone found the pups "very cute". None of them are here to take care of them now!

Mitali Chatterjee

Eesh! The puppies gone? I still remember the day when u were in calcutta and banshi informed u that bruni 'pregnant dikhta hain'. Then one day when we were returning to the project as soon as we landed they informed us that bruni had so many puppies...we went to see and bruni didnt protest even when u went close to the puppies..i even named them as bruni's brat brigade...just going down memory lane...
But then since its your project u know best what to do.