To Give Or Not To Give?

Today is Sunday. In Bolpur it's a strange day. Some schools, institutions, shops and establishments are closed. Some others are open. The same thing happens on Wednesdays. For an "outsider" like me, it is very confusing and at times, very inconvenient.

It's still early in the day and I am already bored with it. I've tried reading, watching tv, surfing the net... but I still feel bored. So I thought I'd write a few lines in Dakshinayan Diary to see if it can change my mood!

I wish it were as convenient to get to Roldih as it is to Kolkata. I would love to talk to people face to face and explain something rather than doing it over the phone. There's so much scope for misunderstanding when you do that. Worst is not being able too gauge the other person's reaction to what you are saying!

This morning Bhola told me that the volunteers were planning to buy copys and pencils to distribute among the school children. Apparently, Tom and Roisin did it and so they too wanted to do something similar. So I had to call up and explain over the phone to Fran (the one who was on the phone) why I disapprove of this. It's a bit hard to explain, but the main reason is not wanting to encourage dependence and/or expectation.

Not all volunteers want to or can afford to give the children gifts. So what happens? The children feel that the "gift-giving" volunteer is a good one and the one who did not give them anything was "not nice". This has happened in the distant past and hence, I put a stop to the giving of gifts. I may have relaxed this rule a bit now -- the volunteers can give the project gifts which will be eventually given to the children. We use the gits as "motivational tools" at times. Soaps and copies and pencils are given out for regular attendance. Even material for uniforms were distributed to those who "passed the exam and got promoted". The children are always informed about the "source" of the gift. But it's very, very rarely that the "giver" is allowed to distribute the gifts themselves.

This has caused a lot of "heart burns" in the past and no dount will continue to be a debatable point in the future too. I'm quite ambivalent about this myself. Sometimes I feel, what's the harm? Let someone give a gift if they feel like it. But then, I start worrying about the children starting to EXPECT gifts from visitors. It's natural. Children "expect" visitors to bring them gifts -- chocolates, toys, etc... and our children at Roldih and Cheo are no different! But what if the visitor can't afford it or doesn't with to give gifts?

Bhola has gone to Godda to attend a Patanjali meeting. He is a member, I believe. I can't help feeling that he should perhaps have stayed on the project today (considering he's been absent quite often lately) and seen to the cleaning up of the project. If he's going to be an absentee coordinator, I could run the project from Bolpur over the phone!