Just a few lines to say Hello

I don't really have much to say when I am not on the project. My days in Bolpur are mostly boring. The only bright spot is The English Adda, which happens every evening. Arindam, Kunal and Sunipa come around 4:30 and stay on till sometimes 7:00 and sometimes even 8:00. They seem to enjoy being here and I enjoy having them around. Young people are so full of energy and enthusiasm that I feel quite good just being around them.

I haven't gone to the project as I had planned to because when I arrived in Bolpur, the young people mentioned above were very anxious to continue with the spoken English sessions. All of them are going to be busy from mid December till mid January and were anxious to practise their English before that. I agreed. Especially as they seemed very keen and I noticed that they were making good progress.

The intial hesitation is gone. They now speak unhesitantly and can express themselves quite well. Now I need to work on their sense of tense and also pronounciation. A typical session consists of a bit of reading, learning the meaning of difficult words and pronunciation. This is followed by an "adda" when they all talk about what they had done the previous day -- thus learning how to express themselves. It's working very well.

I was hoping to start proper English sessions from January. But I have received news that I may have to attend a few trainning programmes in UP from mid December till mid January. So I'm afraid I will not be able to start anything new till that is over. Perhaps the beginning of February will be a good time?

As for the project, according to Renee, it is running by itself. Bhola has hardly been around for the past two weeks because his "taxi" has been hired for Panchayat Elections due to take place on the 13th of this month. Radha has been absent for a while and Raiman has been sick. Both are now back to teaching. But it seems that even though there were no teachers, the children behaved themselves and attended school regularly. It seems some of the teachers need more discipline than the students as they apparently spend more time on the cell phone and less time in class!

There's only Renee and Shanku on the project. Raiman spends the night on the project. Kartik is too busy with farm work after school. There's no question of asking Radha to stay over at night. But Renee says that she's quite comfortable and has no issues about her stay there. In any case, she's due to leave the project in a few days for a month long break. Hopefully some of the issues will be sorted out by the time she comes back in January.

It's wet and cold in Bolpur these days. The days have been grey for the past few days and last night it rained as if it was monsoon. Any plans I had made in my mind to make a quick dash to the project were scuttled. I don't even feel like going out to buy vegetables! It's not the cold that's bothering me. It's the grey weather and the threat of rain any moment. Last thing I want to do is get wet and fall ill during this season.

Well, that's all for the moment.

Happy Diwali

We have just finished lunch. But I am not ready for my afternoon nap. Frankly, when it's this pleasant, one does not even feel like a nap. It's neither hot nor cold. The day is bright. The breeze is gentle. Perhaps a little later, I'll lie down for a while and rest because tonight is going to be hectic in a fun sort of way.

The kids came to school today. But there were no classes. Instead, they spruced up the classrooms, cleaned up the temples and other "public" areas and went home to come back this evening to light up the lamps and burst the few crackers we bought and also partake of the sweets we have ordered for them.

Bhola went to Devdanr to fetch all this. Unfortunately, there's a tractor stuck on the only bridge on the only road connecting Devdanr to Roldih and so he can't come through. He's stuck there and couldn't even make it for lunch. Meanwhile Chandrama from Cheo came to collect the sweets for the kids up in the hills. So I asked him to go to the bridge on his motorbike and collect Cheo's share. No point in his waiting here. It's so convenient that he now has a bike.

Acorrding to him almost every family now has a motorbike! Wow!! That's progress for you. Not so long ago, the Paharias did not even possess bicycles. And now, all the young people that I know, have shiny new motorcycles. Even Chandrama, who claims that the honorarium we give him is the only income he has, bought a motorbike! It's second hand, but it did not come cheap.

I asked Ramnath if he has one and he made a sad face and said he has no money. But today I discovered that his son, who is in college and has no source of income, has a new motorcycle! Where did that come from? Hence, it's obvious that the Paharias are definitely earning enough money from the sale of forest produce and the sale of cash crops such as beans and oilseeds.

Now my next question is, why can't they pay for the education of their children? Some do. They spend good money to send their kids to government schools elsewhere. And I've been told they often have to give a "bribe" of upto 5,000 Rupees to get their children admitted to these schools that are free. So why can't these people pretend to be peniless when it comes to paying a few rupees fees to the project school in Cheo?

I am now, no longer feeling guilty about thinking of closing down the Cheo centre. Ramnath and Chandrama can continue teaching theire and getting the parents to pay them a "tuition fee". Whatever they get will be extra income. I'm sure they are not dependent of Dakshinayan for their bread and butter. In fact, no one is. Everyone here owns some land -- especially the tribals. So even if the Cheo centre closes down (even Roldih) the "teachers" won't be affected in any way. I do admit that the children of  Cheo may be deprived of "quality education". But it's not as if they won't be getting any education at all. There is always the option of the government schools. The Cheo school is more like a preperatory school. It prepares the kids to gain easy entrance to the government schools.

Bhola is here now. The road is clear. Chandrama has taken his sweets and gone back to Cheo. Some of the school kids have started drifting in. The celebrations are going to start early it seems. So let me wish all of you a Very Happy and Enjoyable Diwali this evening with family and friends.

Bad start to November

A new routine, a little lecture about the plight of children who are slave workers in fireworks factories, shampoo distribution to regulars and warning to those absent for more than 3 days in October -- that was assembly yesterday. The weather was cool. The sky was overcast and there were a few drops of rain too. But nothing to indicate that it would start raining later.

Attendance was good. School started well. But I did not teach. No point in starting when I know I will be gone in a few days. It would unnecessarily disrupt the new routine. Renee is teaching English in four classes -- 1 to 4. And since Bhola is teaching the other subjects in classes 3 and 4, there was nothing for me to do but to sit back and relax. Besides I was feeling unwell.

I've been getting headaches every day since I arrived here. At first I thought it was because of the bus journey. Ten I thought it was because of the change in weather. But when I started shivering around noon, I knew it was malaria. So I decided to take a dose of my herbal medicine and that's what prevented the fever from rising too high. I lay around all day with a fever and by evening I was already feeling better. I'm fine today. Just weak from the effects of the medicine.

But November started badly for me. Not only did I fall ill. My phone stopped working! Bhola checked with the service provider and was told that for some mysterious reason, my sim card has been rejected. Then I tried to get on the net and discovered that my data card was also not working! It's still not working, but I've managed to get online on a borrowed one. So for those who have my old project number, please note that it is not working. I'm not giving out my new number here. But I'll be sms-ing it to individuals.

I am wondering if all this has anything to with the fact that someone called me on that old number and told me that I had won a million rupees and could I please give him my name, my father's name and my bank account number! Of course I did not. It was obviously someone phishing. I then got a call from the service provider saying that should I get a call asking me for personal details, I should not oblige! The warning came late, but was not necessary. I was cautious anyway. But that night, my phone stopped working. So I'm wondering if it's a coincidence or someone deliberately tampering with my phone.

That aside, yesterday was also a very bad day weather-wise. It started raining soon after noon and continued all night. The temperature plunged by 10 degrees celsius and it was horribly cold. I felt it more because of my illness. Bhola went out in the rain because he had some family business to attend to and came back with a cold. He's feeling under the weather today. I hope he will be well for Diwali celebrations. I'm glad I'm feeling better. I was a little worried about my health. I usually fall ill around this time. Strange, but true. I've spent many Diwali nights in on a sick bed. Or I fall ill a few days before or after Diwali. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I was born on a Diwali night! According to the Indian calendar, my birthday is on Diwali. I, of course, prefer to celebrate it the Zodiac way.

Renee, after initially wonder if she could stay on at the project all by herself, has now "fitted in". She's happy teaching and taking part in all the chores -- cooking, cleaning, sweeping and of course spending time with the children. I've deliberately not interacted with her too much so that she doesn't feel my absence when I'm gone in a few days.

I have a hectic schedule ahead. As soon as I arrive in Kolkata, I will barely have time to pack my bags and head for the airport to catch a flight to Lucknow for yet another trainning sesson. I'll be back in Kolkata on the 12th unless there's a change of plan. I hope then I'll get a few days to spend in Bolpur. I'm expecting guests in the first week of December. I'm also hoping there'll be a few volunteers too!

Diwali Preparations

We had an early lunch of "khichdri" today. It was delicious and everyone took multiple helpings. The reason we ate early was to ensure Bhola could have lunch before going to Godda to withdraw money to pay the honorariums and also to buy crackers and candles for Diwali. And thanks to Rahul's usual generosity, we will have a great Diwali. He has agreed to contribute the total estimated 6000 for the celebrations. Renee too chipped in with 500. Then unexpectedly, Mitali's son Jijo, who got his first salary, decided to send 500 for the children to celebrate Diwali. I am touched. Really deeply touched. God bless them all.

This year, we plan to spend more on sweets for the children and less on crackers. My daughter, Sukanya, does not approve of me spending ANY money on crackers. Not because it's a waste of money, which it is, she's principally opposed to crackers because they are manufactured using child labour. In fact, the children who work in the fireworks factories are literally slaves. They come to work before dawn and often have to work till midnight. And then start all over again before dawn -- 7 days a week. Working conditions are apalling. They hardly get much to eat. Parents, mostly impoverished peasants, get the money the children toil for. And as I write this, I am wondering why I buy even on cracker!

I told Bhola about this. He says we will no longer have crackers for Diwali celebrations. But since we have promised the kids this year, we should keep our promise. But we must tell the children about the child labourers who manufacture the crackers and explain to them why we should not have crackers any more. We'll spend the money we spend on crackers on sweets and fruits for the children here. So this year, even though there may be fire works, it is going to be very low-key. And Bhola will buy them from manufacturers who don't use child labour. There are a few such companies. Their crackers are expensive. But that doesn't matter. We'll have only a few crackers and our conscience will be clear.

The day has been ok so far. Attendance was good and attention was good in class too -- my class. Unfortunately, I had a severe headache and was unable to teach after the break. Bhola taught them maths instead. I don't know why, but I seem to wake up with a headache every day and unless I take a pain-killer, it stays with me all day. I'm feeling ok now, which is why I'm writing this blog.

It's becoming more and more pleasant as the days pass. Winter may set in after Diwali. Even Kolkata is no longer "sweaty". Today I took out my woollens and put them out in the sun.

I am touched by some of the responses I received on yesterdays blog post. Let's all pray that we don't have to close down the project... miracles do happen and I believe in it firmly. But the miracle has to be sustainable to make the project sustainable. Both Bhola and I are trying to figure out a way to make this miracle happen.

That's all for today. I'm grateful to all that the children will have a good Diwali this year too. They look forward to it all year. It would be a pity to disappoint them. Let's hope this is not the last Diwali. And we'll ensure that the next Diwali will not be enjoyed at the expense of little children elsewhere.

Chopping off Cheo?

I've just finished lunch. Shanku had cooked some delicious masoor dal with chunks of horse radish in it along with some fried potatoes. I had chapati, as usual, while the others -- Renee and Shanku -- had rice. Shanku can't live without rice and Renee is happy to have chapatis once a day in the evening.

I may be imagining it, but my paunch seems a little smaller. Bhola disagrees. He feels that my paunch is the way it was when he first met me! According to him I've always had a paunch! I somehow imagine that it grows when I eat rice and shrinks when I eat chapatis. That's one of the reasons I eat chapatis for both meals even in Bolpur. Unfotunately, I can't resist the tempation to soak my chapatis in ghee and/or cook my vegetables in ghee. I love to put a couple of spoonfulls in my dal too! Perhaps that explains why I look so "healthy" by Indian standards. Or maybe my genes are responsible. My father was a rice-eating Bengali from the east and my mother was rice-eating Tamilian from the south.

The weather here is wonderful these days. Very pleasant indoors. Not to hot outdoors and the nights are cold enough to use a quilt. It's feels so nice to curl up under one and sleep like a dog till dawn. And talking about dogs: Bruni lies around in the dappled shade all day and promptly curls up on her bed on my veranda at night. And she does snore! I used to think she was growling at something. Sometimes she does. Most of the time it's just her way of snoring. Hence, now I wait till she starts barking to investigate. And for some odd reason she barked last night a few times and Bhola and Shanku were running around in the middle of the night to find out why. We saw nothing.

Bhola was here last night. In fact, he was here all day yesterday and has only gone home this morning because he has to take care of the shop while his father has gone somewhere. He seemed somewhat relaxed yesterday and we spent a lot of time talking about the project and the future -- his own, the project's and mine too.

We all realize that the project is no longer sustainable. The number of volunteers visiting has dwindled. And the funds we generate from the fees is not even covering 40% of the project's yearly expenses. The various contributions we receive from friends and well-wishers adds up to no more than 10-15%. So where's the rest coming from? Part of it is coming from me -- the rent that I get from my Gurgaon flat. The rest is debt that keeps accumulating. When we have a "good" month, we are able to pay off some of the debts. But they keep mounting almost immediately. This month, thanks to Renee, we are able to pay off 50% of salary arrears. We won't be able to pay Shanku and Bhola this month too! And by the end of November the shortfall will once again be 40,000 plus. This is not a happy situation.

When I'm away from Roldih, I feel that I should perhaps close down the project. But when I come here and start teaching the children, I feel it would be a crime to do so! But one has to face reality sooner or later. The fact is that we just do not have the means to carry on. And I simply don't have the energy and inclination to go out and get funds from donor agencies and then run around submitting accounts and reports. All I wish to do is sit around in one place and perhaps teach a few children as long as I can. I can do that in Bolpur, Delhi, Kolkata, Uttaranchal or wherever. I don't need a project for that.

Running a project means overheads and salaries. And God knows, we hardly pay anything to those involved in the project. And that is worrying Bhola too. His business is suffering because he is spending so much time on the project. In fact, the past months he has been more away from it than on it and he feels that he isn't doing justice to the project or to his family. He has two daughters and he needs to take care of them and his wife and parents. He simply can't afford to spend his time running this project even though he feels very attached to what Dakshinayan is doing.

He's worried about me too! And so am I and the people close to me. Fortunately, I have been lucky not to be suffering from any major illnesses. Should I fall ill, there's no backup! I'll be at the mercy of friends and well-wishers! That's not a happy situation to be in. I don't mind begging for the project. But I can't beg for myself. I'd rather die! And I'm not joking when I say I'm looking for cyanide pills. I'd like to have them handy, just in case a situation arises where I become chronically ill or bedridden. Considering euthenasia is not legal, those pills may come in handy.

But melodrama aside, we do have serious sitation here and both Bhola and I are trying to figure out what to do next. I'll be writing to the Trustees to get their views too. Some of them have helped to keep this project afloat in times of crisis. The contributions of ex-volunteers have been phenomenal. But sadly, I have not been able to make the project self-sustaining and that's my biggest regret.

To begin with, we will probably close down the Cheo school. Ramnath and Chandrama live there. If they wish to continue running the school, they can do so by collecting a fee from the children who come to study there. But considering that no one here has the time to even visit, there's no point in continuing to run the centre and spend money on salaries and upkeep. With Cheo out of the way, perhaps we will be able to continue the school in Roldih for some more time. But sooner or later, time will decide what happens to this place.

I'm not too worried about my own future. The rent from my flat, if I don't have to support the project, will take care of my frugal needs. I'll probably have to move to a small town or go to an ashram somewhere. But I still have a little bit of energy left to teach in Bolpur and perhaps earn my keep. So I'm not too anxious at the moment, though I must admit that the prospect of falling ill terrifies me! I don't wish to spend my last few years being dependent in any way -- financially or physically.

Well, that's how things stand at the moment. By the end of this year, Bhola will go back to doing business. He'll keep and eye on the project whenever he can and also help out when necessary if time permits. Shanku's fate hangs in the balance. Ramnath and Chandrama will either find alternate employment or if, as they say, they wish to serve their community, they can continue teaching and earn something from the fees they may get. The infrastructure is there.

So will this be the last Diwali in Roldih? I don't know, but right now, after the chat we had yesterday, that's the way it feels. I'm trying to enjoy every moment that I am here just in case.....

Parent-Teacher Meeting

Yesterday, during class, Renee got fever. I asked her to go to bed and rest and take paracetamol, which she did and by evening, she was feeling a lot better. We don't know what brought it on. She hadn't slept well the night before because of a headache and so was tired when she woke up. I too had slept badly because of a headache and was feeling feverish in the morning. Must have been something in the air -- a virus perhaps. I was feeling perfectly ok by nightfall.

After a night's rest, Renee was feeling fine today. No fever all day. But I asked her to stay in her room and rest as much as possible. She's been doing that. In fact, she's in her room right now, resting. Shanku has gone to the market. And I'm sitting on the veranda writing the blog. Bhola came in the morning. Some of his distant relatives are still in his house. So he said he wouldn't be able to stay on the project. Hopefully, he will be able to come to "work" from tomorrow. There's a lot of stuff I need to discuss with him -- especially accounts.

In the afternoon, just as I was about to take a nap, Suman dropped in. I tried to have a coversation with him, but it seemed he was not interested in talking at all. All he wanted was his salary. We owe him that because he left the project when neither I nor Bhola had any money to give him. Unfortunately, I still don't have any money as I haven't been able to withdraw any from the bank because Bhola's been busy. He left. But I was quite saddened by his attitude. He used to be so respectful and deferential while he was working here. And now suddenly he's become a stranger -- no hello, no goodbye. Sad.

It's been a good day otherwise. Today was the PTA meeting. Usually there's a Parent-Teacher on the 20th of every month. Bur since Bhola was busy with his grandmother's death duties, the meeting was held today. Unfortunately, since most of the parents had stayed up for two nights consecutively because of the Chandna fair, attendance was very poor. Still, about 20 of them showed up and I was able to have an informal chat with them. I also asked them if the meeting could take place on a Sunday since the meeting, if held on a weekday disrupts school. They agreed and I think that from now on, the meeting will be held on every 3rd Sunday of the month. But it was nice to meet some of the parents and what's nicer is that I was able to encourage Radha, Raiman and Kartik to speak to the parents about their wards. This was good.

I also did a bit of teaching in class 4. I taught them Social Science and English. Their English seems to be better than their Hindi! At least they seem to read English a lot better than they read Hindi. But whether it's English or Hindi, their retention powers seem very low. Also, they have stopped "thinking". Apparently Bhola has been dictating the answers to questions to them and they are simply memorizing those.

I also discovered a major mistake in the Social Science book. It mentions that Punjab and Haryana is in the East! Amazing. I wonder who writes these text books and who edits them. In fact, the Hindi books are so full of mistakes that one needs very alert teachers to rectify them while teaching. I remember that it was also the reason why I had switched to English books. At least they are better produced and have fewer mistakes.

Well, that's been the day so far. I did manage to read a bit. Take a few photos. Talk on the phone with my JNLI colleague Suman and now at dusk, I'm waiting for Shanku to come back from the market to give me a cup of tea -- my 10 today! He seems to be managing the project work well. I was under the impression that he's lazy and others have told me the same. But I notice that he is slow, but is doing all that is necessary. I suppose my presence here helps.

The weather is changing. The days are warm but the nights are getting progressively cooler. Towards dawn, I needed a quilt! This despite having shut the door and windows of my room. But apparently Kolkata is still quite warm. No winter there this year, I suppose. Thank God, it's cooler on the project and I am hoping it will be cool in Bolpur too. I may be tempted drive to the project more often over the next few months. Also, I may feel more inclined to take more photos of countryside during my long drives here.

Roldih Revisit.

So here I am in Roldih. Sitting on the veranda and writing this blog while school is on. Attendace is poor because yesterday was Chandna mela (fair) and most kids and their parents had gone there and had probably stayed up all night. At assembly there were only 48 students. We can add another dozen to that figure because the Nursery 2 kids come in later. Out of the 22 enrolled in that class, I am assuming 10 are not going to show up.

I went into Class 4 to see what they have been studying. They seem to have covered a lot of ground in the past few months. But how much did they really learn? I asked them where Kashmir was and everyone said it was in South India! Shocking!!!!! So I've set them the task of studying the map of India and figure out where each state is located. I'll quiz them tomorrow about it.

I'm not happy with the school routine and for that matter, the project's routine either. Breakfast is served at 9:00 am during the school break! Why? There's a lot of time between 6:00 am, when people are supposed to wake up, and 7:15, when assembly takes place. Surely enough time for a wash and breakfast -- like today. It didn't take long to figure out the routine was set for the convenience of ONE person rather than of the other people on the project or the school children.

There's a nip in the air in the mornings and so it would be the right time to start school at 8:30 am and then there will be ample time for everything. Shanku will not be under any pressure to prepare breakfast and do other "needfuls" before school starts. I was given the impression that he also teaches. But it's not true. He "fills in" when one of the teachers is absent -- which is not very often. So he has lots and lots of time to prepare the meals and do other odd jobs around the project.

There are other little things that have made me unhappy -- the whole place is overgrown with grass and weed, the solar system of lighting I set up was not working as efficiently as it was when I was around (I had to fix it last night), and one of the batteries (the new one) has been lying around in Devdand for the past month or so for some mysterious reason. I was told it had gone for charging and I'm finding it hard to digest that it has taken over a month to get the battery recharged!

I won't dwell further on the negatives. But it's obvious that the project has been badly managed. And that's not surprising considering that the "manager" has been mostly absent. This, I find extremely frustrating. Everyone wishes to hang around the project when I'm here and most things function smoothly. But the minute I'm gone, those who are meant to run the project, run away! I experienced this Deena Shan, Rajkanna, Chandan -- in fact, everyone that I have entrusted the management of the project to. The sad fact is that I no longer wish to manage the project either. There's so much more to be done "out there:" that hanging around here is a waste of my time, energy and capabilites. So where do we go from here? Honestly, I don't know.

Last evening, after dinner, when I was watching the moon rise, I asked myself if I was happy to be back. The answer shocked me too. No. I'm glad I have this opportunity to spend some time in wide open spaces where I can watch the sun and moon rise. I'm glad that I can sit and listen to the birds at dawn and the crickets at dusk. I'm happy I can breathe in fresh air. But am I glad to be back? Honestly, no. The project feels like a burden. A mill-stone on my head which I somehow can put down anywhere. The emotional involvement I felt is no longer there. It's been replaced by a sense of "duty" and a desire to see things done "efficiently". That's all. Let's hope it's a passing phase. I've felt frustrated and disinterested from time to time. Somehow this time it seems permanent! I'm almost 60... someone has to take over and take responsibility. Or else this is the end.

I don't think I'm feeling negative because I'm feeling somewhat unwell. I could have caught a chill on the way here. The bus journey was hard. I was sweating when I boarded the buss in Kolkata and feeling chilled when I got off the bus in Poraiya Haat. Somewhere along the way, it had become gradually colder and the passender in front insisted on keeping her window open to let the cold air in.

I was asleep within minutes of reaching the project at 6:00 am. I woke up for lunch and then went back to sleep. And despite having slept all day, I could barely keep my eyes open after dinner. The moonrise was spectacular as usual. But I was so unhappy with the "little things" I've mentioned, that I really did not enjoy it as much as I should have. Pretty soon it will be too cold to sit outside and watch the moon at night.


I almost forgot to mention Renee! She's here. In fact she's been here since the 22nd. Bhola had gone to Kolkata to fetch her despite being very busy with his grandmother's "death duties", rituals, etc. She seems quite ok though seems that a lack of "routine" is preventing her from giving her best. I hope I'll remedy that while I'm here. But otherwise, she's fine. Quite involved in whatever is going on (school mostly) and interacting with Shanku who is teaching her Hindi and enlisting her help in kitchen work.

Anyway, I'm here till Diwali. I hope I will be able to bring back a semblance of systemized sloth, if not an efficient system!

Shoshti

Today is the 6th day following he advent of the Devi (Durga) on Mahalaya. And Shoshti is the day the Durga Puja celebrations begin officially. As children we used to look forward to this day so that we could wear our new clothes and show them off at the Pandals where they'd be putting finishing touches to the idols -- Durga and her four children: Laxmi, the goddess of fortune; Saraswati, the goddess of learning; Kartik, the god of war and Ganesh, the elephant-headed god of wealth. Those were fun days and even now when one hears the sound of the "dhak", the drums one feels nostalgic.

Probably because I'm not 100% Bengali, I don't go ga-ga over this particular festival. Oh yes, I do look back in nostalgia. But I rarely get emotionally involved in the celebrations as most people in the eastern states do. I do visit the pandals and/or to listen to the drums or watching young men (and these days women) performing "arati". Inadvertently I also notice the beautiful sarees and gold ornaments that a lot of women wear and sometimes men too! And when I step out of the pandal and watch the ragged children and old men and women who sit in the shadows waiting to be noticed and given alms, I feel very bad indeed.

I know tha I'm a bit of a spoilsport these days. I see too much that is wrong these days. Everything is not bad. These festivals also provide employment and provide a boost to commercial activities. And perhaps for a few days, those very ragged beggars are assured of alms or perhaps a square meal? But I somehow I see the ostentatious and conspicuous spending by a few people. And I also wonder at the community that funds such celebrations. Most of these religious events -- Ganesh Chaturthi in Maharashtra, Navratri in Gujarat, Durga Puja in Bengal -- are based on community participation and contribution. Sadly, they are also temporary -- the idols will be immersed, the the pandals dismantled and most of the tinsels and baubles dispersed and scattered all over the place along with plastic bags, paper plates etc. etc.

I wonder why the money and the effort that goes into such celebrations can't be channelized into making something more permanent? Can't the community collect donations to build a school instead of a temple and then celebrate their achievement? Can't the community collect enough money to put a poor student through college and then celebrate his/her success? We'd probably end up having year round celebrations then. And I'm sure it would also be environment friendly!

I wish the women would talk about how much money they have spent on giving sarees to the have-nots rather than brag about the number of sarees they have bought for themselves and how expensive they are! Such expensive sarees are rarely worn and they certainly do not add to wealth accumulation like gold that can  and is a "nest egg". Would it not be so much nices if one wears a nice saree and also ensures that those families where all the women share ONE SAREE have more sarees to go around?

Ah well, I could go on and on and on. I'm already running into trouble with the locals because I am refusing to give donations. To most I am saying that I'll contribute generously when they ask me to donate for building a school or repairing an old woman's hut... They don't like it. They want to "celebrate" -- spend money on "band party", "booze", and "babes".

Celebrate by all means. We celebrate Diwali on the project. We burst crackers collectively so that all the kids can enjoy equally and the community too. But most of the money is spent of providing sweets to the children. My daughter doesn't approve of the cracker part. Every year she points out to me that these crackers are made by "slave children" who toild from dawn to dusk in dingy rooms to produce them. I agree with her. That's why only a small amount is spent on crackers manufactured by companies that don't employ child labour (or at least they say they don't). For me, it's more a question of bringing some joy into the lives of rural children who will never get to fly a kite or experience the thrill of holding a "sparkler" in their hands or bursting a cracker and jump with joy at the bang. So you see, I have nothing against celebration. I become a child for a few hours on Diwali night on the project. But I feel extremely ambivalent during Durga Puja and that's the main reason why I don't "celebrate".

Having said all that let me also say that I will definitely visit a pandal or two and see how well the idols have been decorated. I am also hoping to visit a "village puja" which, I've heard is celebrated the traditonal way without any ostentations. I'm hoping to spend time with my friends and also perhaps catch up on some reading while everyone is too busy to spare time for a single old man.

There's no Durga Puja holiday on the project. It will be class as usual. The kids and the staff (Bhola and Shanku) may go and "enjoy" in Devdand on one of these festive days. But I'm not sure that will happen. Bhola's grandmother died last night and when I spoke to him this morning, he was in a bus on his way to the Ganges at Rajmahal to cremate her. The bus had been chartered for this purpose. I couldn't help wondering aloud about the expenses and he admitted that his grandmother's death would set his family back by at least 50 to 60 thousand rupees. The cost of taking her body to Rajmahal for cremation would cost no less than 20,000 rupees! And then there is the "shradh" ceremony -- a community feast which will cost a lot more as the whole village and ALL those related will have to be invited. No wonder there is rural poverty! Even the poorest of the poor have to perform some social "obligations" during births, deaths and of course marriages.

They don't have to. But then there's always peer pressure and the need to conform and belong and also show off. Bhola's family could easily have cremated his grandmother anywhere -- a forest, their backyard or any water body and then taken her ashes to a "holy place" anyway along the Ganges to be scattered. But the trend must have been started by someone who wanted to show the community how much they "loved" their departed and how much money he was willing to spend to have that person cremated on the banks of the Ganges. Now others have a "standard" to maintain. According to Bhola only those who can "afford" it, do this. Well, it seems everyone in Devdand can "afford" it by either mortgaging their homes and land or by selling whatever little jewellery the wife has.

The death of Bhola's grandmother is not being treated as sad news because she was really very, very old and bed-ridden. She could not be moved and had to be spoon fed. Bhola's father would do that and he was becoming quite resentful of this chore. So I'm sure everyone is relieved that she's gone. And I'm sure she's now at rest. But the timing is all bad. Now the family won't be able to celebrate Durga Puja. The men women and children won't be able to wear new clothes. And they won't be able to participate in any social rites or rituals for the next 13 days. Also, no participation in any festival till next year. That is sad news indeed.

Cooler Weather

The weather has certainly improved. It's much cooler and in fact, at night, one needs a light covering. But will this spell of cool weather last? Are we moving into winter? Or is this a freak phenomenon because of the "depression" in the Bay of Bengal? The timing is, as usual, very unfortunate. The entire eastern region is getting ready to celebrate Durga Puja and it has to rain now, when no one wants it to rain!

The organizers of these pujas, I'm sure, are very worried. And so are those who usually go on holiday during this time, especially to places close by -- Digha, Shankarpur, Mandarmani, have all be badly hit by the rough sea. In fact, a lot of seaside destination have had to deal with 8 metre high waves. Stalls have been washed away and many mud houses in the villages have collapsed. Tourists have suffered too! Some were injured.

This year, the weather seems determined to made life difficult for every one in India! It rained in places where it shouldn't have. It didn't rain in places it should have. And by not raining at the right time it caused drought condition in large parts of the country. And by raining too much in some places it damaged crops. Also, by raining at the wrong time, it has destroyed standing crops! And of course, it literally dampened the spirit of celebration -- whether it was the CWG or Durga Puja. I wonder what calamities might befall during Diwali!

Anyway, I'm glad it's cooler. A weak sun has just made an appearance. Perhaps this evening I'll be able to go out and take a few pictures. I couldn't go out yesterday because it was drizzling off and on. And if this weather persists, it would certainly be more pleasant to be on the project. I must admit that after all these years of doing without it, I somehow have grown attached to basic comforts! I can't do without the fan when it's hot! But if the weather is like this, I'd love to be on the project.

I'm curious to know what's happening on the project. I'm really not getting much feedback from there despite daily phone calls. I'm looking forward to going there with Renee and spending some time there. I'll certainly stay there till after Diwali. But what if things have deteriorated? Should I stay back and "pull the chestnuts out of the fire" or should I simply walk away and let things slide? Honestly, I still can't decide.

The English Adda hasn't really taken off. But then I haven't launched it as yet. I was experimenting. But even though I have offered this programme free of charge, there haven't been many takeres. And those who joined don't seem to be serious about it. They seem to have "other priorities" -- sleeping, going on picnics, meeting friends, etc. Maybe they are not serious because it is free? We'll find out soon enough. I will be resuming sessions after Diwali. Meanwhile, I'll publicize it some more. Let's see what happens.

But I am happy that I have decided to extend the academic year at Roldih till the end of March. Let's take advantage of the weather and do some serious teaching during the winter months.

Mahalaya and Change of Weather

It's 5:30 pm but it already seems like 7:00! It's dark outside. And for the first time since I arrived in Bolpur, I am able to sit without switching on the fan. I won't say it's cool -- if I move around I'll feel warm. But the weather is pleasant. And it all happened rather suddenly.

There was a sort of storm in the afternoon yesterday. And suddenly a cool breeze started to blow and the weather started improving. Today it has been drizzling since morning and right now it is quite pleasant. I wonder if it will stay this way or go back to being hot and humid all over again. We've had this phenomenon before. It cools down for a day or two and then becomes hot and humid all over again!

Apparently, it's a lot cooler on the project too. It has rained a bit in Roldih and even though it hasn't helped the farmers, it has made the weather cooler and bearable. Classes are still starting from 7 am and finishing by 11. So it couldn't have cooled down too much. But in comparision to the heat wave conditions we have been putting up with for the past few months, anything would seem cooler.

And talking about school, I've arrived at a decision regarding the academic year. Instead off starting the year in January and ending in December, I've decided to follow the same pattern as other schools in the state -- start in April and end in March. So the current academic  year is going to end in March 2011 instead of December 2010. Why?

Well, the decision had something to do with the inflow of volunteers and the weather. Most volunteers come during the winter months and even for us Indians, it's more pleasant during the winter months. Hopefully, we will find more Indian volunteer teachers. For me too, I'll probably spend more time on the project during the winter months. So why not have classes right through the winter months? I've discussed it with Mitali annd then Bhola and they both think it's a great idea. That's how most schools function anyway. Do we always have to be different? This will also be good for the kids leaving our school. They won't have to wait for 3 months to join another school.

Today is Mahalaya -- the advent of the Durga. The festivities are about to begin soon. I was hoping to go to Kolkata but decided that it will put pressure on my already strained finances! So I'm staying put here in Bolpur and will be spending my time reading books and magazines. Hopefully towards the end of the festivities, Mitali and her husband Raj will be coming over and perhaps we can go around and see a few idols then. For me that will be enough.

The Heat Is On

I don't think I'll be able to take this weather much longer. It's 10:30 pm and it's still hot! I move away from under the fan and I'm drenched in sweat. I thought it's perhaps me who's feeling the heat, but when Sunil dropped in briefly this evening, he was complaining about the heat too! And he should be used to the heat because he spends a lot of time outdoors supervising construction activity.So if he is complaining about the heat, it really must be hot. It certainly is and I almost fainted from heat while cooking this afternoon. And though I took a nap after lunch, I woke up drenched in sweat and a terrible headache.

I'm already trying to figure out where to go next. Wherever it is, it has to been a cool place. I think I've had enough of eastern humidity and hospitality!

Shantiniketan weather sucks

The weather in Shantiniketan (Bolpur) really sucks! This is supposed to be autumn and I've just had my third shower. It's 9:00 pm and it should be cooler than the day? But it isn't. I had just driven across to the market to buy some sweets and even though I hadn't walked, when I got back home, my kurta was completely drenched in sweat.

When I went out this morning at 9:00 am to watch a movie, the story was the same. Though I had driven up to the movie hall and had to walk perhaps 30 yards or so, I was completely drenched in perspiration! Thankfully, the hall was air conditioned. When I got home it was still an hour to noon and yet, I was glad to be back and grateful that I could have a shower and sit under the fan to cool off.

The weather is really driving me up the wall. One does not expect to suffer this much even in October. I don't expect it to be cool. But I certainly expect the evening to be more pleasant! Even congested and polluted Kolkata is pleasant these days. It's raining on the project and people need to sheets to cover themselves at night. But here in Bolpur, it's as if we have just entered the hottest month of summer! And I lost all hope of the weather improving when someone told me last evening that the "weather has improved so much"! Boy! If this is "improved" weather, Bolpur is certainly no place for me!

I don't think I can continue to live in this town if this is what the weather is like! I may have to leave for cooler climes. Which is sad because I am growing quite fond of Bolpur, Shantiniketan and the surrounding area. Of course the weather has prevented me from exploring more and truly enjoying the countryside. I'm really disappointed on that score. I keep waiting for better weather to go out and take pictures. And I certainly saw nothing of the "famous Shantiniketan monsoon" that the bard wrote so much about. I suppose, like most poets, he fantasised a lot, romaticised a lot and probably exaggerated a lot to attract people to some and settle down in this desolate land. I see no evidence of pleasant weather and honest, haven't seen it ever since I have been frequenting this town since last November. If I recall correctly, it was hot in December last year. I was told it's "usually not so warm". Hmmmm.... so may as well give up expecting pleasant weather here.

Well, as I said, it's been raining in Roldih. Bhola has  been ill. He ate something somewhere and has ever since been suffering from stomach aches. School goes on and so does life. Nothing unusual except for Bhola's illness and that fact that he thinks it's necessary to saline "drips" because he hasn't been able to eat much and therefore feels weak. But he drove from Roldih to Devdand!

The English Adda is already experiencing trouble. One girl has dropped out. And one boy doesn't seem very serious. Sunipa seems to be the only serious one and perhaps to some extent Arindam. If Kunal comes for class on a regular basis from Monday, I'll take him seriously. But Tuli has sent word she won't be coming.  It's her loss. And the loss of many others who said they wanted to learn how to speak English but haven't shown up even though I've spread the word. I should have "advertised".  Anyway, as I keep saying this is a learning experience for me too. At least I'm able to develop a "teaching plan".

Todays movie was nice -- an old Ritwick Ghatak classic, "Ajantrik". It's a story of a man and his obsessive love for his vintage car. In the process the car assumes a "human" character. Great movie. This is the 4th time I'm seeing it. I saw it last in Copenhagen almost a decade ago! I wanted to go to the weekly "haat" but decided it was too hot to step out of the house. A sensible decision. I did some reading instead.

THE ENGLISH ADDA

Bhola says that Suman's departure hasn't really effected the project in any way. Shanku and Bhola probably need to do a lot more "housework". What else is there for them to do? Shanku isn't a full-time teacher. And Bhola teaches when he can. It's mostly Kartik, Raiman and Radha who are doing most of the teaching.

I am quite concerned about the project. It's just not working out financially. The monthly expenses work out to about Rs 30,000. Most of this is covered by contributions  from friends and volunteers and whatever money I receive as rent for my flat in Gurgaon. There are ex-volunteers who help out from time to time, but the debts keep mounting every month and whatever we gather isn't enough to pay off these debts. And now that I am living away from the project, I have my own expenses and can't contribute towards project expenses. In fact, my stay in Bolpur is being supported by a close friend.

I am really wondering what to do with the project. If I don't have the project to worry about, I really have no worries in life! If I live frugally, I can live out the rest of my life without having to beg. But if I continue running this project, I will have go around with the begging bowl and I'm sick and tired of that particular aspect of running a project. I just couldn't be bothered about maintaining accounts and I just couldn't be bothered about making proposals and visiting donors and asking them for support. To be honest, I am very close to throwing in the towel.

I know what mistakes I made and the wrong decisions I've taken in the past that has led to this sorry state of affairs. But some things were beyond my control -- the lack of dedicated people to work with me, the changing values of humanity in general. Anyway, the fact of the matter is that as I rapidly roll down to 60, I am very tired of running the project in Jharkhand. I've decided to give it one more year and then turn my back to it. So unless things improve in 2011, that project is closing down.

Meanwhile, I'm getting used to Bolpur and Shantiniketan and the great cultural and social divide between the two. I'm lucky to be accepted by both and that's perhaps because I'm still being perceived as an "outsider". And  probably because I come across as being posihed and "cultured" -- a "bhodrolok" perhaps. My circle of acquaintaces is growing and I'm getting to know a lot of interesting people.

So here's some good news: The English Adda has started. The first session was yesterday. Four young people enrolled themselves for the first batch, but only three showed up because one of them is acting in a play and hence had to go for rehearsals. The others are quite enthusiastic and it's great being able to teach adults for a change -- especially young people who know rudimentary English and simply need to brush it up.

I'm not charging this group anything because I've told them frankly that I will be treating them as "guinea pigs" to design a programme of Spoken English. They will learn from me and perhaps assist me when I set up a proper learning centre. These people are good with languages. One of them is studying Japanese and three others are fluent in Chinese. That's great is that one of them had attended a Spoken English course and told me that what I am offer is definitely far, far superior to what she got from there. How she could tell after attending only ONE SESSION,  I don't know! Let's see what she feels after a few weeks.

But I am happy that I've made a start. And right now I am very enthusiastic about it. Let's hope that all goes well and I am able to earn some money from THE ENGLISH ADDA and be able to run the project in Roldih and even start a small school for slum children here. Starting something is not difficult. But getting people to help out is certainly a hard task. Why  I chose the name The Englsih Adda (TEA) is coming in the next blog. This is all for now.

Suman has Quit the Project

It always rains AFTER my clothes are dry! But today I won't complain even though I'm still wondering why it always happens this way. Why doesn't it rain in the morning BEFORE my clothes are washed or put out to dry? Even if it rains while they are still wet, I wouldn't mind. Anyway, as you can gather, it's raining here. And raining cats and dogs. And even though we've had some rain over the past few days, what's happening now is REAL MONSOON rain. A bit too late perhaps. But still welcome.

However, like every easterner, I'm praying that it won't rain during October when the entire region celebrates Durga Puja. That would really be bad and rob people of whatever little joy they can have this year. It's really been a horrible year in every respect. So much drought and so much flooding. So many accidents and calamities. But then I wonder, will the following years be any different?

It's so easy to slip into morbid frame of mind these days. Is it my age? Or have things deteriorated and have gone from bad to worse? Still no cure for malaria or AIDS. War still rages on in Afghanistan and other places. Cowardly terrorists strike at will and DELIBERATELY at the innocent. Countries unleash their military might on their own people. Children continue to die of starvation and disease. Am I beening needlessly morbid? Or are humans becoming slowly and steadily inhuman? Are we seeing regression instead of evolution? And regression is such a catchy term these days -- past life regression. People wish to live in the past. The future no longer holds out any hope. It's better to look back instead of looking ahead.

And so now here's some news from the project. Suman left this morning. Permanently. He called me last evening to say that he would be quitting the project from the 1st of October. So, I told him that he didn't have to wait that long, he could leave right away, especially since he was in an inebriated state! He didn't seem apologetic about it. And seemed to feel no regret.

Am I sad? No! Even though I was very fond of Suman and had a soft spot for him because I considered him an "orphan", of late I've been hearing some not so nice things about him. This is not the first time that he was drunk. Apparently this was happening quite often of late. And he would sneak out at night and go to the village and drink with the young people there. So, in a way, I'm glad he's left.

But what saddens me is the "change of face". Just because he was now quitting, he no longer felt it necessary to be respectful while speaking to me. And yet, this was the same shy boy who would hardly open his mouth when I spoke to him! Some of the volunteers did try to tell me the Suman transformed the minute I left the project. But I found it hard to believe because I only saw a shy, timid, respectful and obedient boy whom we had "rescued" from his tyrannical father-in-law and wayward wife. Anyway, it's time for all of us to move on.

Bhola tells me they've found three little animals in the tall grass near the temple. These are definitely not kittens nor puppies and look more like tiger cubs but are too small to be so. They have stripes on their hind legs and soft fur all over. I suspect they are hyena cubs. I've asked them not to disturb them lest their mother abandons them. But what do we do when they grow up? They could easily kill Bruni. Or may even attack the school children. It's a dilemma. The forest department just doesn't care though they have been informed. The other possibility is that they may be wild cat kittens. Bruni is too scared to go near them! But then she has always been rather timid! Anyway, I'm hoping the mother will take them away now that they have been discovered.

I'm beginning to like Bolpur/Shantiniketan. I've joined a film society and have watched a few interesting and thought-provoking documentaries. The Vishwa Bharati is a happening place and I've been there to see an exhibition of portraits taken by an American photographer who's in India on a Fullbright-Nehru scholarship. There's also a quaint little boutique cum cafe cum book shop cum art gallery cum library called ALCHA which seems to be a favourite watering hole of all intellectual animals. I go there at times as I know the couple -- Satish and Keya -- who run it. Very interesting people. And I also get to meet other interesting people. So I'm feeling quite settled and happy.

Besides watching documentaries and reading books and meeting interesting people, I have also been putting together a lesson plan to start the ENGLISH ADDA -- the conversational English course. I've spoken to quite a few people who seemed interested to join. But so far no one has actually showed up at my doorstep! Someone told me that since I am in Bolpur, I should not expect students to take me seriously! What????!!!!

Apparently there's a very strong and thick wall made of snobbery that separates the two one-bullock cart villages! Those living in Bolpur are supposed to be "banias" or petty traders who lack "culture" and can't see beyond "profit" and Shantiniketan is blessed by educated, erudite, refined intellectuals who are the repository of everything "cultural". The "cultural brahmins" live in Shantiniketan and Sriniketan whereas the "untouchables" life in Bolpur. There's yet another class that inhabits Prantik -- a newly developed "colony" on the outskirts of Shantiniketan. This is the "nuveau riche" who build houses in "Shantiniketan" as a status symbol. They come there on weekends -- sometimes with family and sometimes with their mistresses -- spend most of the time "relaxing" or getting drunk and then going away. Most houses in Prantik are empty.

Anyway, that's the demographic profile of this place that I'm beginning to like. I still feel like and "outsider" and wish to remain so as I don't want to get involved in all this nonsense. But if indeed I people are unwilling to come to Bolpur because I'm here, I may have to make some alternative plans. Let's see how things happen. As they say s..t happens. Maybe I'm sitting right in the middle of it without being aware!

Bolpur Continues to Boil!

Just outside Bolpur it was overcast, cool and dry

Bhola came to Bolpur on Saturday. Not in the afternoon as I had expected, but rather in the evening after sun-down. I asked him how his wife was and he said that the doctor wanted a few more tests, but the pathology labs would conduct the tests on Sunday morning. Anyway, he did bring over a few things for me -- a few clothes, some books (a couple of German ones too!), a small table, etc.

He also brought along his brother-in-law and another relative (who is from Siuri) who is also a "brother-in-law" of sorts. Both very young and in Dumka SP College. And obviously not used to city life. Which surprised me because Siuri is a bigger city than Bolpur and even Dumka is quite a "developed" city -- it has electricity and all that you need for "modern" living. Anyway, these two boys were quite "special" because when I gave them "anwla" boiled in sugar (called morabba) to eat, they asked me what four was used to make it! And when they found a seed inside, they wanted to know what fruit it was!

If a city kid had asked me this question, I could understand it. But boys who have lived in their village all their lives not knowing what an "anwla" is, is quite shocking! "Anwla" trees used to grow wild all over Santhal Pargana once upon a time and you can still find a few trees in the woods and forests. Most kids love to pluck and eat these sour, berry-like, green fruits which are rich in vitamin C and are used a lot in ayurvedic medicines. I was really amazed that they didn't know anything about this fruit. Especially as it is sold in every village "haat" (market). At first I thought they were pulling my leg! But Bhola, who was equally shocked, realized that they were not.

The road through the forest -- mysterious and deep

Anyway, I took everyone out for dinner. They came back home and slept and left early in the morning to get back to Siuri. I really didn't get a chance to interact much with these guys and also didn't get to speak to Bhola much. He was quite disappointed to hear that Eri would not be able to come. And now that he is dealing with project finances, was quite worried at the mounting debts! Thanks to the support of friends and past volunteers we are limping along. But the situation is not a very happy one.

 After they left, since I was up and ready and the sky was overcast, I decided to go to Ilam Bazar as I was told that it's a nice ride through the forest. Once I reached the outskirs of Bolpur, it started to drizzle and by the time I reached the forest, it started to rain heavily. Anyway, it was a nice ride even though I was drenched to the skin. I was so wet that I did not bother to get off my bike for a cup of tea in Ilam Bazar and rode right back to Bolpur in the pouring rain. But the forest is deep and mysterious and I'd like to explore it a bit on a sunny and cool winter's day. I believe there are a couple of restaurants next to the forest. I didn't see them. But I wasn't looking hard. Driving through the rain wearing spectacles is like driving in a car without wipers! I'm glad I took my helmet -- at least my hair was dry! Though I did not manage to do all that I had set out to do, it was nice to be out of the house.

The forest stretches deep on both sides

Oh, I forgot to mention that as soon as I reached the outskirts of Bolpur, I found no rain! Apparently, it hadn't rained at all in Bolpur! Strange!!!! It seems to be raining everywhere except Bolpur. I wonder why? I asked Sunil this morning if he had any explaination for this, and he said: There are too many intellectuals in Shantiniketan and Bolpur and they let out a lot of "hot air"! Very funny. But I tend to agree with him.

Sunset Safari?

Bolpur's Latitude is roughly 23N whereas Delhi is approximately 28. Delhi's Longitude is 77E and Bolpur's 87. Perhaps this explains why whenever I check the temperatures of these two cities, they seem to be the same. Both these cities are 31 degrees Celsius whereas Kolkata seems to be cooler at 30 degrees. How accurate are these temperatures on iGoogle, I wonder. It's certainly cooler now at 6:00 pm than it was at noon, when it was showing 27 degrees for both cities!

It's been raining off and on. Short bursts that wet the clothes hanging on the clothesline. The sky is overcast for longer periods now. But it's still hot and humid. Very uncomfortable. But what worries me more is the fact that we are going to have a drought in many parts of this region this year. Some districts in West Bengal have been declared drought hit. In neighbouring Jharkhand too, the situation is grim.

Prices of food items have gone up substantially and many items are now out of the reach of common people. Even the upper middle class is feeling the pinch. And a drought is not going to improve matters. What will happen to the poor people? Those who don't have money to buy grains at exhorbitant prices? And then we have strikes that deprive the daily wage earner even the means of earning his daily bread. What's happening to this country? The picture is so depressing. Politicans are giving themselves bigger salaries and perks and precious little is being done for the poor people in the slums, on the streets and in the villages. Food rots in warehouses or out in the open while children cry themselves to sleep while we get ready to host the CWG and show the world how much we have progressed.

But this is not the forum for my personal frustration. So let me not digress. I meant to write about the project. Not that there's much to say. All goes well. Bhola was, however, supposed to be in Bolpur today. He was supposed to be here yesterday, in fact. He was bringing his wife to Siuri for a check up at the hospital and so I asked him to drive the extra few kilometres to come and see me. Since his in-laws were coming, he would be free and was probably grateful for the excuse to get away while all the tests, etc. were being conducted.

But yesterday was the strike against rising prices. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that the strike caused a lot of hardship to the common man. Besides, once again depriving the poor a chance to earn their daily wage. But how can you convince these pro-poor politicians that they've got it all wrong? Most of them have grown old advocating strikes at the drop of a hat. The most disruptive tool they had. So how can one expect them to change. But even more sickening is to have to watch yesterday's rable rouser, who called block roads and called strikes at the drop of a hat, now saying strikes are bad!

So Bhola did not come yesterday. And he did not come today because the doctor said he will not be able to see his wife till Saturday. Well, meanwhile, I have ample time to think of all the things that he should bring for me from the project -- a few books, some clothes, etc.

But when I spoke to Bhola this evening I forgot to share the sad news that Eri is not coming in the beginning of October as she can't get a visa because she's applying from the UK. Apparently she needs to have at least six months stay left on her UK visa before the Indian High Commission will grant her a visa. What's the logic? God alone knows perhaps. I'm sure those high paid bureaucrats in the foreign office don't have a clue. Their motto: "Ours is not to question why... Ours is but to do or... " Die, they won't. Eri though she'd visit India on her way back to Japan. Makes logical sense. But bureaucracy and logic don't go hand in hand. So, no volunteer to teach English in the first half of October.

I am feeling guilty about not going to Roldih and doing a bit of teaching. But I really don't wish to go and suffer in the heat. I think I've done enough and I feel that staying well at my age should probably be my top priority. Also, I do need to stay put in Bolpur. I moved here in July and was in and out the whole month. It's only in August, when I stayed static, that I managed to get to know a bit about this city and meet some of the people. I know it sounds like an excuse, even to me. But honestly, I just don't feel like going to the project at the moment. What I really want to do is get on my mobike and head into the sunset with my camera clicking away. I wish I had the courage!

Is the Weather Improving?

Fran, Hannah and Kaori left Roldih on Saturday. I spoke to them briefly before they left. They seemed ok. I got the impression they weren't too sad to leave. Or have I become used to more emotional farewells?

Actually, I haven't been able to establish much rapport with the last few volunteers. I haven't been on the project while Tom, Roisin, Fran, Hannah or Kaori were there. So there were no "chats" to get to know them better or to tell them about the project or my involvement in it. Also, they haven't seen me "inaction"? :) Hence, it's quite natural that they sould not feel emotional about saying goodbye to me or expressing their feeling about the project to me! But while Bhola kept on and on about how sad Tom and Roisin were about leaving the project and how much they cried (did they really?), he had nothing to say about the trio. In fact, when I called to enquire if he had put them on the bus to Kolkata, he was on his way back and was more keen to inform me that he would be going back to the project. I'm not keeping tabs on his attendance!

So there are no volunteers on the project now. It's time for me to fill in the blank! And it seems mother nature is trying to create the right conditions. It rained a bit yesterday after ages. And the sky is overcast right now. The sun was out in the morning. And no doubt, may even come out in a few minutes or hours. But if it's nice and cool, I certainly would feel more comfortable about going to Roldih. I'll give it a few more days to see how the weather behaves and then decide. Meanwhile, it's time to seriously explore possibilities of starting some work here.

Afraid to Brave the Heat

I should have been at Roldih last evening. At least that was the plan till yesterday. But my guests left just before noon instead of early morning and it so it got too late for me to leave Bolpur. I had no intentions of driving through the afternoon heat and arrive at the project after nightfall.

I did mull with the thought of leaving early this morning. But realized that I'd probably reach the project a few minutes before Fran, Hannah and Kaori would the project. And since the idea of going to the project was to meet them and discuss their stay on the project, a late arrival with a few minutes to spare, would be a waste of effort. So I stayed back. Tomorrow is a holiday on the project and I'd be just hanging around. Might as well hang around in Bolpur where I many things to occupy my mind.

I will be going to Roldih one of these days. But now that the urgency to go and meet the volunteers there is no longer a driving imperative, I will probably go a few days later and hopefully the weather too will have improved by then. It's simply too hot these days. In fact, I wouldn't be exaggerating if I say that Bolpur was cooler when I arrive in July than today, when we are already in the autum months. The rains have completely failed this region this year.

When you drive out, you do see green paddy fields. But that's because in West Bengal many farmers have tubewells for irrigation. Cross over into Jharkhand and except for isolated patches of green, the land is lying fallow. It's going to be a miserable year for farmers for sure. It's really been a bad year... rains where you don't need it... floods where you don't expect rain... and no rain where everything depends on it.

Anyway, succinctly put. It's too damn hot to go on a 5-hour drive at my age. I'll wait for it to get cooler. No point killing myself when the need for me at the project isn't so desperate. But I am desperate for good weather. I keep waiting for the weather to improve so that I could explore my immediate surroundings. I've been bitten by the shutter bug and I want to take some photos. But given the heat and the humidity, venturing out is a daunting task. And I'm not that brave.

August Ends

Out of 95 kids presently enrolled in Roldih, 93 came today -- the last day of the month. But attendance on the whole has not been very good throughout the month. I mentioned this to Bhola and so he is now summoning the parents of all the children who missed more than 3 days of classes in August. A "talk" with the parents may do the trick.

I also wonder if the drop in attendance also has anything to do with the fact that we are no longer giving "incentives" (soaps, pencils, etc) on a weekly or monthly basis. One of the reasons why we stopped giving weekly and monthly "prizes" for attendance because we can't afford it. The other main reason is that we didn't want that to become the main reason for children to come to school. I did get to hear that some sick children were forces to come to school by their parents so that they wouldn't miss out on receiving the shampoo sachets that we gave out every week! Apparently, the mothers were more interested in the shampoo sachet than the education of the children.

This is the last week for the volunteers. They'll be leaving on Saturday. Hopefully, I'll make it to Roldih before they leave.  I'm looking forward to the long ride. And hopefully this time I'll get to rest a bit before I have to return to Bolpur. Bhola's wife is doing OK. She' being treated for jaundice and is apparently responding well. Bhola's father, by the way, knows about herbal medicines that are a "sure cure" for jaundice.

It rained a lot on Bolpur yesterday. But today it's sunny, dry and hot. I hope it will be cloudy tomorrow so that my guests have a pleasant ride and it won't be uncomfortable if they wish to go sightseeing somewhere. Unfortunately, tomorrow is Wednesday and the university and all the shops will be closed. Maybe they'll just wish to rest after the long drive.

To Give Or Not To Give?

Today is Sunday. In Bolpur it's a strange day. Some schools, institutions, shops and establishments are closed. Some others are open. The same thing happens on Wednesdays. For an "outsider" like me, it is very confusing and at times, very inconvenient.

It's still early in the day and I am already bored with it. I've tried reading, watching tv, surfing the net... but I still feel bored. So I thought I'd write a few lines in Dakshinayan Diary to see if it can change my mood!

I wish it were as convenient to get to Roldih as it is to Kolkata. I would love to talk to people face to face and explain something rather than doing it over the phone. There's so much scope for misunderstanding when you do that. Worst is not being able too gauge the other person's reaction to what you are saying!

This morning Bhola told me that the volunteers were planning to buy copys and pencils to distribute among the school children. Apparently, Tom and Roisin did it and so they too wanted to do something similar. So I had to call up and explain over the phone to Fran (the one who was on the phone) why I disapprove of this. It's a bit hard to explain, but the main reason is not wanting to encourage dependence and/or expectation.

Not all volunteers want to or can afford to give the children gifts. So what happens? The children feel that the "gift-giving" volunteer is a good one and the one who did not give them anything was "not nice". This has happened in the distant past and hence, I put a stop to the giving of gifts. I may have relaxed this rule a bit now -- the volunteers can give the project gifts which will be eventually given to the children. We use the gits as "motivational tools" at times. Soaps and copies and pencils are given out for regular attendance. Even material for uniforms were distributed to those who "passed the exam and got promoted". The children are always informed about the "source" of the gift. But it's very, very rarely that the "giver" is allowed to distribute the gifts themselves.

This has caused a lot of "heart burns" in the past and no dount will continue to be a debatable point in the future too. I'm quite ambivalent about this myself. Sometimes I feel, what's the harm? Let someone give a gift if they feel like it. But then, I start worrying about the children starting to EXPECT gifts from visitors. It's natural. Children "expect" visitors to bring them gifts -- chocolates, toys, etc... and our children at Roldih and Cheo are no different! But what if the visitor can't afford it or doesn't with to give gifts?

Bhola has gone to Godda to attend a Patanjali meeting. He is a member, I believe. I can't help feeling that he should perhaps have stayed on the project today (considering he's been absent quite often lately) and seen to the cleaning up of the project. If he's going to be an absentee coordinator, I could run the project from Bolpur over the phone! 

My Backside and not My Back!

The corn plants with flowers -- promising!

Though I was a bit tired after the ride from Roldih, I was without aches and pains. I was a bit worried that I'd feel my protesting muscles in the morning after a night's rest. And I did have a good night's rest because it had rained a lot last evening and it was nice and cool. When I woke up this morning (a little later than usual), I felt absolutely fine! Hey, it's good to know I'm a lot tougher than I think I am! I really did expect my back to give me trouble as it has always been somewhat weak. But it was my backside and not my back that seemed a bit sore.

The arhar saplings. They'll grow to be much taller.

I spoke to Bhola a while ago. In fact, I called because I was somewhat worried about the fact that he hadn't called all day to give me any news of his wife. It turned out that he "forgot" to call me! Amazing lapse of memory I must say -- specially since I drove him to Siuri because of the so-called emergency situation. Anyway, it turns out that his wife is feeling much better. When he took my call, Bhola was on his way to the project after having dropped his wife and in-laws at their village.

Corn patch -- view from the well

I also spoke to Kaori to find out how they were while Bhola was away. She said they were all  fine and followed the daily routine. Shanku and Suman were tending to the corn. Actually, in all the excitement about the bike ride and Bhola's "emergency" I forgot to mention the crops on the campus. I was quite pleasantly surprised to see that the premises looked quite "groomed". There's a lot of grass, which is normal for this season, but the paths have been kept clear of growth. Even the grass in places have been cropped. But what actually surprised me was the patch of corn between the well and the toilets. And the space between the path and the wall in the east has been planted with lentil (arhar) which is also growing well.

The cemented paths leading to the toilets

With bricks lying around, they've paved pathways leading to the toilets. This is great. I'm happy they are taking the initiative and doing things. But it upsets me that I am not informed of these changes -- before or afterwards! I'm having to arrange for the funds and it would really help to know what's going on at the project. I'm glad I can hop across more often now and find out for myself what's going on. And if all this sprucing up was done to impress me, at least my frequent trips will ensure it's done more frequently!

Ride to Roldih (and Back)

Me and my Bike

It's pouring rain in Bolpur. Quite unexpected. There was not a cloud in the sky when I was riding to this place. But this is India and nothing is predictable. As usual, they have disconnected the power supply to this town. So I'm grateful for the inverter. I'm looking at my motorcycle as I type. She's drenched. And I think she deserves the shower. I needed on badly when I got back this afternoon. I washed my face at a restaurant where I had lunch and when I wiped my face with my handkerchief, it became instantly black -- the handkerchief, not my face! I guess, for some people it's black anyway!

The road from Shantiniketan to Siuri

In contrast to my ride to Roldih yesterday, todays journey was a little tiring. Probably because of the heat. And also maybe because I had a pilion rider -- Bhola. In fact, he's the reason why I decided to rush back today. As you know, his wife has been ill and admitted to a nursing home in Siuri for treatment. It turned out that along with malaria and urinary infection, she also has jaundice. Though weak, she was apparently ok. But last night Bhola received a phone call from his father-in-law saying that he should reach Siuri as soon as possible because her condition had become very "serious". We couldn't leave last night, so we decided to leave for Siuri this morning. Siuri, by the way, is the district HQ of Birbhum and the first city on the way to Roldih from Bolpur. It's an hour's drive from here.

Lush green paddy fields

We left at 7:30 am this morning -- as soon as assembly was over. I dropped Bhola to the nursing home, saw his wife, who looked very weak and met his mother-in-law, who very apparently is a "drama queen". Bhola's wife is ill. But certainly not "seriously ill" or "dying". I do hope she responds to the medicines and gets well soon. I don't know when Bhola will go back to the project. But if he needs to stay back in Siuri, then I'll go to the project. Shanku, Suman and the three volunteers are doing fine and will be able to manage without Bhola or me. But I feel responsible, especially because the volunteers are there. Let's see.

So here I am in Bolpur. Feeling quite fresh and relaxed after a short nap and a shower. It's amazing that last evening at this time I was sitting on my veranda and watching the moon rise over the "hill". And this evening I am sitting under a fan writing a blog and smelling the scent of rain-soaked soil. Roldih is literally "round the corner". So I can simply jump on my iron steed and head for it any time I feel like it. It will certainly be fun to do the journey in winter.

The Masanjor Dam -- a nice place to rest

Everyone from Agiya Mor to Roldih couldn't believe their eyes when they saw me riding the bike! And even though the people at the ashram knew I was coming, they did not really expect me to make it. One friend had even assumed that I had probably turned back and gone home (Bolpur) after a few kilometers. To be fair to everyone, I had grave doubts myself. I'm a couple of years short of 60 and in India, that's OLD! I'm proud of myself and feeling very confident at the moment. Maybe I will invest in a better bike and go off on long drives. It's a cheap way of travelling great distances. It's also a great way of touching, feeling, breathing the environment of the places that you travel through. Go offroad if you wish. Stop and stare at a body of water, a forest covered hill or just switch off the bike and listen to the sound of the birds and trees when you are driving though tree-lined highways. And Bolpur to Roldih has all this and more to offer. It's really a picturesque journey.

I had breakfast here

I left Bolpur yesterday at 7:00 am. Sweat was dripping from my nose when I started my bike. It was that humid. But once I was on the road, the weather became pleasant. I had cloud cover all the way it that made such a difference. The first stretch from Shantiniketan to Siuri was through woods and lush green paddy fields. I was in Siuri by 8:00 and so was able to cut across town without encountering much traffice. It's a very busy city normally and prone to traffic jams and road blocks.

Colourful cables on the roadside

I kept on till I reached Shaorakuli police barrier. There I stopped for a breakfast of puffed rice, curried chickpeas and potato chops. Quite tasty really. I also had some lemon tea. Again very tasty even though I prefer milk tea. My next stop was Masanjor's Mayurakshi Dam. We always stop there and eat Jhal Muri (puffed rice mixed with an assortment of things -- chopped onions, green chillies and ginger, finely chopped coconut, chanachur, boiled chickpeas, pickles and lots of chilly powder! It's quite tasty. And a cup of hot tea afterwards tastes even better!

At the morning assembly before leaving

After that I rode non-stop through Dumka and stopped only at Karbinda, about 40 kms short of Roldih. Had a cup of tea and then headed for Roldih. When I entered the gate at the ashram, it was 12:00 noon! Hannah, Fran and Kaori greeted me in Bengali. Bhola had been teaching them a few phrases. Their pronounciation was excellent -- "Nomoshkar, aapni kemon achen"!

School has already been over for an hour and so I did not get to meet the children till assembly this morning. I don't know if they were disappointed that I was leaving immediately. But I did promise to spend more time with them in September when there would be no volunteers. I think they understood why both Bhola and I had to rush off. But I was happy to note that they were all still very disciplined. And surprise, surprise, some even spoke when I spoke to them! Great....

View of the cornfield from the well

They were all very happy to hear that Eri, Renee and Dani are coming back. I'm surprised how well they seem to remember the volunteers! I tend to forget people. But then I've always had a bad memory for names and people. Quite embarrassing really.

Unfortunately, I did not get to talk to the girls much. I did expect to spend time with them and get to know them. I did not expect circumstances to change so dramatically and drastically. They seemed happy to be on the project. They seemed very well adjusted. They didn't have any complaints! And the project staff had no complaints regarding them either! In fact, I was told that the nursery kids absolutely adore Fran. I do wish I could have stayed to see what is it she does that makes them feel that way....

But I'm really happy that I made this trip. The fact that I made it there and back on consecutive days also proves that I'm still fit. It's good to know that the project is a 5-hour bike ride away. It's do able. And I think it's good for people to be aware that Guruji can appear out of nowhere on any day!

Regularly Irregular

I don't know what I was expecting when I moved to Bolpur, but I certainly did not expect to feel lonely! It would be nice to have a friend that I could walk across and talk to in the evening or call over for dinner and drinks. But I have no such friend here. Sunil, God bless him, does drop in every now and then and if ever so helpful with directions and is genuinely full of concern. But he's a busy man and I don't like to keep him busy chatting with me because I know he gets to spend very little time with his family.

Archie, who was so helpful when I came to Bolpur the first time, has now become too busy to even answer my phone calls! I know he divides his time between Kolkata and Shantiniketan, but of late he's simply disappeared. I had hoped to spend time with him. Ah well... 

Shinja, Sunil's daughter, drops in once in a while and so does Aditi, her cousin. But these two little girls come at the oddest of times! When I am cooking lunch or busy working. And invariably they wish to play with MY computer. No other computer will do. So, sadly, I don't get to enjoy their company much. Often I have to say no to them, which makes me feel bad.

I would love to get on my bike and go for a long bike ride. But really, you've got to experience the weather here to know why I'm not doing that! Step away from the fan and you'll be drenched in perspiration within minutes. I never expected Bolpur to be this humid! I was told  that the weather is Birbhum (this region) is akin to the weather in Santhal Pargana. Bolpur is supposed to be hot and dry! I can deal with that. But unfortunately, this year, it is hot and humid. Almost rain-forest weather without the rains. Really, I wonder what happened to the monsoon this year. It's raining in all the wrong places and nowhere near where I stay!

Kolkata was dry when I was there. Roldih was dry when I was there. Delhi was dry when I was there! And now Delhi is flooded. Roldih and Kolkata have had their fair share of rain. But Bolpur hasn't received even a buckful of rain this year. There was some rain when I arrived in the start of July. That's all! Nothing after that.

I thought of escaping to the project. But Bhola says it's extremely hot there right now despite the rains. He keeps saying: "Don't come till it gets cooler"! When will it get cooler I wonder? In any case I will be going one of these days weather permitting or not. I would have left today, but Shinja has asked me to stay till Monday, which is her "happy birthday". So I decided not to go till the big event (if there's one) is over. I need to buy her a present. But I don't know what!

Bhola's wife is ill once again.  In fact, he was in Dumka yet again yesterday because her condition had deteriorated at night. He had to be taken to a doctor for more tests and given different medicines -- this time for some infection. Hope she'll be better. Bhola is quite tense about it because his inlaws expect him to be with his wife. He doesn't mind that. But they insist that he stay with his wife in their house. And Bhola doesn't wish to do that. They are refusing to let him bring her back to Devdand, to their own house. That way he could take care of the project and also of his wife. Dumka is a long commute and he doesn't wish to be away from the project and his work. I do hope his wife's condition improves and Bhola can stop worrying about her. And start worrying about dropping attendance in school.

Of the original 105, ten children have dropped out. A few among those left somehow can't seem to come to school regularly. As a result the daily attendance is hovering around 85... sometimes plus and at times minus.
One child who is regularly irregular is Parvati, Harish's daughter. Every since she's joined school, Parvati has been having problems attending school regularly. Whenever we speak to Harish, he feigns ignorance and yells at Parvati for not coming to school. "She has no work at home so I don't know why she doesn't come," he says. And yet we know that he is responsible for her absenteeism. She's either made to take care of the small children at home, or look after the cattle in the field, or tend to her bed-ridden grandmother. Talking to Harish does improve her attendance for a few days but it goes back to being the same -- regularly irregular. By the way, that's what my teachers used to write in my report card when I was in school! And believe me, we did not have cattle to look after nor did I have an ailing grandmother.