Bolpur Blues

Today is perhaps the first day that I am at home. It feels that way. All of July I felt I was settling in. Today, for the first time, I feel settled. I woke up, did my pranayam, had breakfast, had a bath and am now sitting at the computer.

The internet problem has not been solved. No one seems to know how to get “unlimited” net connectivity. So I am getting online via my cell phone and it’s costing me the earth. I don’t quite like the idea of going to an internet cafe – they ask too many questions and peer over your shoulder at times. Quite disconcerting.

There’s not much to “see” in Bolpur and I think I’ve covered most of it during my earlier visits to the place. But I do need to get to know people and make friends. And I really need to figure out how to start work. I think I’ll think this month. And then start something next month. Of course, life is full of surprises and plans don’t always work out the way we want them to.

The news from the project is good. I have been speaking to Tom and Roisin occasionally. They both seem fine and keep saying “everything is fine”. It’s a pity they have to leave earlier than they expected to.  There’s a transport strike in West Bengal from the 10^th till the 12^th. And they have a flight to catch on the 11^th. So they have to be in Kolkata on the 9^th. But to do that they need to leave Godda on the 8^th. And since 8^th is a Sunday and the police station is closed, they have to leave on the 7^th. According to Bhola, they seem ok with it. He’s already booked them on the Godda-Kolkata bus on 7^th night.

The volunteers for August are already in India and due to arrive in Kolkata on the 9^th. I am trying to work it out so that they can catch the train to Bolpur on the 10^th. Once they reach here, Bhola can drive them to the project.

I’m glad the kids are going to have two months of English – July and August. There are still no volunteers for September and the rest of the year. But given the state of the world’s economy, this is not surprising. Renee may come back in November and that would be great.  I am hoping her plans work out.

I have no plans for the rest of the day. I’ll probably sort out my papers (Amie! Wish you were here!), cook myself a decent meal (I had Maggie noodles for lunch and dinner yesterday), take a nap in the afternoon and maybe watch some tv!

Bolpur (Shanti Niketan)

Sometimes, when there's a lot to say, it's hard to figure out where to begin. The cliche is begin at the beginning. So where's the beginning? I just read the last post and it seems that I haven't written anything for over a month! And it has been a rather unusual and hectic month for me. No wonder I did not get around to writing anything. Anyway, let me briefly fill you in on what's been happening.

Towards the end of June, when I had almost given up all hopes of ever finding a place to rent in Bolpur, I got a call my friend Jayati saying that a friend of a friend was willing to rent out her "outhouse" to a single person. So I lost no time going to Bolpur to check it out. And since I was going to there, I decided to call Sunil, one of Mitali's acquaintances, to find out if he had any news regarding places on rent. Indeed he did have news -- there was an independent house on rent.

Anyway, to shorten the story, let's say, I liked both places but decided to settle for the Sunil option. Firstly, it's an independent house with it's own garden, garage and well (Bolpur suffers from chronic water shortage). Secondly, it is next to the main market and yet very quiet because it's located in a quiet lane parallel to the main road. Thirdly, the house is owned by Sunil's sister and this is a big advantage. They are not going to object to me using it as an office. In fact, Sunil is keen that I start something there. Fourthly, Sunil is right next door and he has been extremely helpful. So all in all, I couldn't have expected a better deal even in my dreams. Honestly.

On the 28th of June I called Sunil and finalized the deal and on the 29th I rushed off to a meeting in Sikkim. It took me practically the whole day to reach Gangtok. The following day I spent driving to Namchi and back to visit a project. When I got back, I was feeling ill and had to skip the wonderful dinner hosted by the MP, who also happens to be a friend. Spent the whole of the next day travelling back to Kolkata. By the time I got back, I was really very sick and was laid up for a whole week with fever.

On the 9th Bhola moves some of my belonging from Roldih to Bolpur and then came to Kolkata and took some more of my stuff from Kolkata to Bolpur on the 10th. I followed by trian. Mitali and Tom and Roisin, the new volunteers, arrived by train the following day. When we reached Bolpur, we discoved that the house was a mess as Sunil had decided to renovate the bathroom! So when the others arrived we had to stay with the neighbours! Anyway, after a very uncomfortable stay (because of mosquitoes and frequent power cuts), we decided to go to Roldih.

It was great being back in Roldih. The place looked a little "neglected" in places and "freshly cleaned" in certain areas. Anyway, it was nice to be back. The trees have really grown taller and some of the children too! The school seems to be functioning smoothly and children are still very disciplined and dedicated. Bhola, Suman, Shanku, Kartik, Raiman and Radha are obviously doing a good job. Kartik is in some ways "running the school". Shanku teaches too. But I suspect it's more to avoid doing any physical work. In fact, Bhola thinks he's down right lazy. However, Shanku is the oldest person there and is quite reliable. Suman, was very, very quiet while I was there. He's quiet to begin with. But even more quiet now. Bhola feels it's because he was in pain. He had hurt himself a few days earlier while playing football with the children. Anyway, the project is doing ok and now that I am in Bolpur, perhaps I'll get to visit more often. However, I am definitely not going to "run" the project or "interfere". I told Bhola that I will be giving "suggestions" and not "intsructions" and that he will be responsible for all that happens on the project.

Tom and Roisin seemed happy to be in Roldih. He wasted no time getting to know the place and were making efforts to get to know the children when I last saw them. I've since heard that they have fitted in very well and are doing a great job of teaching the kids and seem to have grown quite attached to the place! I've spoken to them a few times over the phone. They seemed to be ok. Soon it will be time for them to leave. And right now I am waiting to hear from the three volunteers who are expected to join us in August.

Anyway, after spending two restless nights on bug infested and damp mattresses that were lying in Bhola's room, Mitali and I returned to Bolpur along with Bhola. By this time the bathroom was ready and looked really fabulous. We sorted out the furniture, the various bits and pieces of stuff and generally "settled" down.

Bhola went back to Roldih and Mitali returned to Kolkata. And I continued with the process of "settling down"  for a few more days before taking off for Tripura on the 21st. I got back to Kolkata on the 27th and left for Bolpur the same day with Mitali in tow. She helped me organize my things, make the place respectable and yesterday, on the spur of the moment I decided to come to Kolkata to pick up a few more of my belonging and also reply to mail and write this blog. I still don't have a net connection Bolpur and if I use the data card that I have, it costs me an arm and a leg just to log on! Hence, this trip to Kolkata. If you don't hear from me for the next few days, it's going to be because of no net!

Now that I am almost "settled", I'll now start concentrating on work. I have many ideas floating in my head. It's time to figure out what is practical and what is not. But finding the place has convinced me once again that things happen when they are meant to happen. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try!

Heat and Mangoes

The promised monsoon has not arrived as yet. Oh yes, we do get the occasional shower, but it adds to the discomfort because humidity goes up. Wonder when the rains will start in earnest. A few days ago it seemed that the monsoon had arrived. But we were somewhat premature in our celebrations!

So, at the moment it's hot here and humid. And the situation is worse on the project. It's hotter there and humidity levels have gone up considerably. This means that the evenings are not very pleasant either. Bhola told me that they are all having 3 to 4 baths a day to stay cool. But a bath provides relief for just a few moments. He was envying the fact that I am able to sit under a fan. It made me feel guilty. But then, at his age I was without a fan too! He can go to Devdand and sit under a fan if he wanted to. I did not have that luxury when I was living in Cheo and Paharpur. But I must admit I am grateful that I can sit under a fan and even though it's hard to admit, I am glad I am here in Kolkata and not in Roldih in this heat.

I must also admit that I am bored out of my wits! There's nothing much to do here and it's too hot go out though there are so many things that one can do in this city -- visit art galleries, go to the theater, attend a music concert, etc, etc. But I do none of these because it's too hot and far away and I don't like going alone to these places. Besides, where is the money? Everything costs. So I stay indoors mostly and brood. Still no news about Bolpur. But there's hope. I've heard someone wishes to rent out their "outhouse" -- servant's quarters basically. I'll go and check it out once I find out if the news is genuine.

I've just learnt from Bhola that there haven't been yoga classes in school for a while. That's because classes start very early and there's no time before school and after school it is too hot. I've suggested that the kids do pranayam just before assembly. Perhaps Bhola will take my advise. He's thinking of pushing back the school timings anyway. But is waiting for it to rain and become cooler.

Shanku is back on the project. He had gone home and was due to come back on the 17th but had extended his leave because his mother was unwell. I haven't spoken to him and so don't know how she is now, but the fact that he's back is an indication that she's probably better.

According to Bhola, all is well. He was, in fact, plucking mangoes when he received my call. He has gathered over 150 mangoes and there are still that many on the trees. He's disappointed that I am not on the project to eat a few of them and they will probably not be there by the time I go to the project. Anyway, I'm glad that there are so many mangoes. We can now distribute them amongst the school children. I'm sure they've been eying them for a long, long time!

Clearing up a Misunderstanding

Perhaps I had been a bit dramatic in one of my posts when I said I am "leaving the project" or "going away". The fact is that I did leave the project and I did go away. But not PERMANENTLY! Though, to be honest, sometimes I do wish I could. Won't have to worry about funding for the project. Or feel guilty for staying away. Or feel responsible for it. But I know that since the project has been a part of my life for so many years, no matter where I go, I will feel responsible for the project and  the people it serves -- even if the project's involvement in the community isn't as great as it could be or should be. The project could do a lot more. But we have to face reality -- we can't find enough dedicated people to scale up operations. And perhaps the community is not ready for more involvement.

How do I know this? Well, last year we offered to buy paddy threshing machines for the more villagers (we have already bought two). But no one came forward to take up the offer! We offered to help people with roof repairs and the story was the same. There were no takers!

Anyway, I'm drifting away from the main point, which is, that I felt that my capabilities were being underutilized on the project in Roldih and I want to be able to do more during the few more years of active life that I have left. I want to set up something in Bolpur so that I could work with students there and also the rural communities in the surrounding areas. I haven't been successful in setting up base, but that's another story. But the main purpose of leaving the project was to be able to do more and yet be close enough (reason for choosing Bolpur) to the project so that I could remain involved.

It so happened that when I came to Kolkata, I got this opportunity to do some training work which not only helped me to understand myself and my capabilites better, but also gave me an opportunity to meet some very interesting people and see some new places in India. I had been "stuck" on the project for so long that my world had become very limited indeed. Being able to move out has helped me to expand my horizons.

When I left Roldih, I had all intentions of visiting frequently and teaching. But the weather has not permitted that. Nor did my health. Though not seriously ill, I have not been well, ever since I moved to Kolkata. I get low grade fever very often that lasts for weeks and leaves me feeling weak. Hence, I have been a bit reluctant to go to Roldih in this heat. Classes are being held for 2 hours a day due to the heat. I know that I'd just be sitting and brooding for the day and feeling uncomfortable and perhaps even falling seriously ill.

So let me assure all of you that I have not ABANDONED the project. I've just taken som time off to rediscover myself and find out if I can do more than what I am doing at the moment. The project is too much a part of my life for me to GO AWAY permanently.

Bhola is doing a good job of running the project while I am away. Suman, Shanku, Kartik, Raiman and Radha are quite involved. Teaching has not suffered. Yes, they are not learning English. But they are studying all other subjects and that's what's important.

I'm waiting for the monsoon to start in earnest and then you'll find me back on the project again. And if some of you can make it to Roldih, hope to see you there!

It's Raining in Kolkata!

It's raining in Kolkata. And for once, it's pretty cool here. We've had a few showers over the past few days, but only for short spells that left the city feeling like a steaming sauna. But this is the monsoon rain that has been going on for a while. Hopefully it will continue to rain off and on now and the weather will improve.

I just spoke to Bhola to find out if Roldih has been blessed with rain too. But they've had no such luck. It's still very hot. The only cooling experience they've had is the occasional cloud cover. At times it seems like rain, but doesn't. I know how frustrating that can be.

Even though I'm not frustrated with the weather, I am quite frustrated with life in general. I've been away from the project since February but I have not been able to do any of the things I had set out to do! I left Roldih to set up a centre in Bolpur and in that task I have failed miserably. I still haven't found a place to rent there. And unless I can set up a base in Bolpur, I can't start the centre. It's really frustrating. I'm willing to pay for rent, and yet can't find anyone willing to give me a place on rent. I've followed up on every lead, but to no avail.

I wish I had the money to buy a flat in Bolpur. That would solve a lot of problems. Firstly, I wouldn't have to rent a separate place to set up the centre. Secondly, since it would be MY property, no one could say anything about my activities there. But property prices have shot up recently and I certainly can't afford the 12-15 lakhs needed to buy a small flat. Even if I buy a small plot and build on it, it will still cost a lot more.

Anyway, I've been following up with agents, friends and friends of friends and I'm hoping something will work out. Meanwhile, I am feeling frustrated and non-productive. Also, I have not been well. It's nothing serious. But frequent headaches, low grade fever on most days seems to leave me with very little energy to be "productive". I've done a bit of training work. But that's all I have done. I could go back to Roldih, but the weather there is preventing me from doing so. So I am looking forward to the monsoon starting there. At least, I could go back and teach and feel that I am doing something useful.

I don't have much news of the project really. I speak to Bhola often. But all I get to hear is "all is well". School is from 6 am till 8 am because it is too hot. Even if I'd been on the project, I'd probably be brooding most of the time. Here at least I can watch TV and with the World Cup on, it's probably a good time to be here. Unfortunately, most of the matches are in the night (India time).

Shanku has gone on leave for a week. So Suman and Kartik are at the project along with Bhola. They are all praying for rain and probaly envying me for the beatuful Kolkata weather I am enjoying. Fortunately, it's a Sunday and so it hasn't disrupted life for people. For me, every day is a Sunday these days.