Going Away

I’m going to be away for quite a few days, I told them. I may be gone 10 days or even two weeks. I’ll leave next weekend. Perhaps I should declare a two-week Durga Puja holiday?

No! No! They were all horrified. We just want two days off on the 27th and 28th for Navami and Dussehra. School should remain open on all the other days.

But I won’t be here, I protested. Who’s going to teach? There’s no one else!

We’ll continue to teach the smaller children Guruji. And we can always do some self study. There’s a lot to write. We haven’t been doing much writing of late. Please Guruji, don’t declare a holiday.

Sounds unreal, doesn’t it? Children not wanting a holiday even during festivals? But these are very special children from Baba Gyan Mandir. And the scene I’m describing took place this morning.

It’s true. I’m going away for a couple of weeks. I need a break. Too much has happened in the past two months and I need to get away to recharge myself and also reorganize my priorities. So I thought that this would be a good time to do it. Durga Pujas start from the 24th and last till the 28th. There’s Laxmi Puja on the 30th followed by Gandhi Jayanti on the 2nd. Many schools are going to be closed for these festivals and so I thought why not our school too? I’ll be away. And since Suman and I are the only people left on the project, it makes sense to close down the place for a few days. To the children, however, it does not make sense.

Yes, Suman is back. His “family issues” have not been sorted out in his favour. In fact, he has no family at all. His wife has left him and is living with another man. His cousins would rather not have him back in the village to stake claim to whatever little land he has. The ashram is the only refuge he has. So he’s back “home”. I’ve asked him to treat this place as such and live here in peace. I’m happy to have him back, especially as everyone else seems to have abandoned me!

For reasons known only to them, both Khagen and the new boy, Bijoy came to me on Wednesday evening, touched my feet and said we are leaving. When will you be back? I asked. We won’t be back. We are quitting. What could I say? So I opened the gate and let them go.

I called Bhola to ask if he knew anything about all this. He said no. He was just as shocked. When he asked them why they had quit, they said they had quit because I had yelled at them. On any other day, this may have been true. I don’t deny that I lose my cool and yell and scream at times. But definitely not on that day! It had been pouring rain since the night before and I hadn’t had any interaction with either of them except at lunch. And even then I had hardly spoken to them. So there must have definitely been some other reason why they left. The truth will reveal itself eventually, I suppose.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Everything is going smoothly. Suman is managing the work of the project pretty well. With the help of the children I am managing the school well too! Raiman and Prahlad are teaching in Nursery, Radha and Anjana in Class One and Kartik and Lalita in Class Two. Once in a while I sneak to peek to see how they are doing. And believe me, they are doing very well.

I had expected attendance to have dropped. But on the contrary, it has picked up! It had gone down to about 77 a week ago. It’s now climbed back. It was 82 yesterday. Today it was 83. Not bad!

The weather has been very wet all of this week. It has rained and rained throughout the week. Sometimes there were strong winds that threatened to blow away the tin roofs. Fortunately, that did not happen. In fact, we’ve been experiencing monsoon weather now when it’s too late. The paddy does not need rain at this point. It’s time for the sun to help them grow and ripen. Much of the maize crops have been destroyed by the gales. So the bumper maize crop we had expected will not happen. Since we planted late, our little maize patch is safe. We’ll probably get to eat a few “bhuttas” soon.

For me it has been a very depressing week. The apathy of the community towards the project and the lack of reliable and honest staff support has really depressed me. I’ve been wondering why I need to run a project in this godforsaken place. Thirty years is a long time and I have been feeling that I have done more than most people. It’s time to move elsewhere. But the response I got from the children this morning when I wanted to declare a holiday certainly cheered me up. I realize my time here has not been ENTIRELY wasted. I am now hopeful that the school will continue even if I decide to go away.