A Brief Window of Opportunity to Upload

The net is not working again and I have not been able to get online since morning. It's possible to connect to the server, but there's no data transfer. I hope they are in the process of repairing the fault. I am due to renew my subscription tomorrow and I am wondering whether I should – I've been getting lousy service since 14^th July!

I had given Suman this kurta months ago. But he was quite averse to wearing it even though he accepted it. But now that the children have started wearing kurtas, he has no problems wearing it. He looks quite nice in it too!

It's been a strange Sunday that simply came and went. What did I do? I started the day by yelling at Suman for jumping over the wall and sneaking in like a thief! Last evening he informed me that he had to go to his in-law's place and would be back by 10:00 pm. He even asked Khagen to keep his dinner for him. And then he called at 10:00 to inform Khagen that he was leaving the house for the project. We were awake till 2:00 am waiting for him. His phone was switched off and he just didn't know what had happened to him. We decided to wait till daylight to go looking for him.

This morning, as soon as a woke up at day break, I see him jumping over the wall! Naturally, I was so angry that I sacked him! But then be begged and grovelled and swore he wouldn't do anything like this again and so I relented. But I did tell him that this was the LAST TIME! Of late he has been telling a lot of lies and also not coming back on time like he used to.

I pottered around in the mornig. Fixed some wiring. Kept trying to get online. Tried calling a few friends – none of whom were available and none of them called back. Slept like a log in the afternoon and had a long chat with Bhola when he came over to deliver the weekly shopping.

I sometimes use the "volunteers" room to meditate or work -- especially if it's raining. This is the view from the work table.

I miss that – being able to talk to someone. The last time I was able to share my dreams and frustrations was when Sharad was here. I haven't been able to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone face to face every since. I've spoken to some friends occasionally, but most of them have their own problems and frustrations to deal with! I'm sure they neither have the time nor the energy to deal with MY petty project related problems.

And talking of pettiness. Today, while talking to Bhola I was wondering about what my life has become! Instead of discussing Brecht's plays and Bach and Beethoven's music, or talking about Ayn Rand's ATLAS SHRUGGED or Patrick White's VIVISECTOR, I'm reduced to talking about how much bribe one needs to pay to get a peon's job. In fact, in this area most people would prefer to become peons and NOT officers because you make more money in bribes than as an officer! It's not that officers don't take bribes. But I suppose they have a decorum to maintain, whereas, if you are a peon, you are "poor", and therefore somewhat justified in asking for and accepting bribes, I guess.

I heard an interesting story this evening and I am sharing it with you. In a village(let's call it X) near Devdand, the government is going to appoint a "day-care centre attendant". The salary is not much – about Rs 1500 per month. But the bribe for this job is about Rs 3,00,000! Naturally, not many people can even aspire for this job.

But even among the few who can afford it, there's fierce competition. Since the candidate has to be a woman and possess some qualifications, the choice has now narrowed down to two – let's call them A and B. A lives in another village and B belongs to the village where this centre is to be opened. And since B is more qualified and belongs to the village, her chances should be brighter.

So A's family is now quickly building a house in the village where the centre is to be opened so that she too can claim she belongs to the village! Not only that, they have also spent a lot of money finding out that B's husband got his job as a "para" teacher by submitting false certificates. So now they are going to apply pressure on the husband to get his wife to withdraw her application or refuse the job when it's offered to her.

We planted those "sangwan saplings last year. They seem to be growing nicely. But not as fast as we had expected them to grow!

It's amazing what lengths people are willing to go to in order to get a government job. It's PERMANENT. You don't have to work. You can take bribes. And then you get a pension at the end of it all! How wonderful. I asked where so-called "poor" villagers get this kind of money to pay bribes and build houses overnight. I was told they borrow! Because, if they get the job, they will be able to repay the money, with interest (50%), within a year. So how does one who draws 18,000 Rupees per annum, pay off 3,00,000 in one year, is anyone's guess.

The protagonists in this story are all local people. And they are the ones who will groan and moan about "rampant corruption" and pretend as if they are untouched by it or that they are not active participants in the corrupt "system".

I still can't get over the fact that parents KNOW that teachers are NOT teching in government schools. They KNOW that the teachers come to school drunk. And yet they keep quiet about it because their children get a stipend. It's not much money really. Children attending classes 1-4 get Rs 180 per annum. The ones in classes 5 and 6 get an annual stipend of Rs 360 and those in classes 7 and 8 are entitled to receive Rs 660 per annum. Girls who enter class 8 are entitled to free bicycles.

But all this comes at a "price"! For the stipend the teachers, who are actually in charge of disbursement, charge a "processing fee" which ranges from Rs 50 to 200 depending on the amount of the stipend. For the bicycle, the teachers demand a flat Rs 500. So you can easily calculate and see that parents are willing to allow corruption for as little as Rs 100 per annum! What's disgusting is that even the poorest villager earns twice that amount every week by trading in the market. Labour wages is Rs 90 per day! So my question is, don't these people care about the future of their children? If their children don't get proper education they will remain perpetually "poor". Or maybe that's the general idea -- to remain "poor" and live off handouts!

I know a family which is considered BPL (below poverty line). In fact, they are supposed to be so poor that they are given free rations – rice, wheat, etc – and also get grants for housing etc. And everyone is the area knows that they are poor. But what I can't figure out is how they manage to buy three expensive cell phones (father, mother and son) and also spend hours talking to each other on it! Local calls are cheap, but not free!

The crooked "gamhar" that was in the corner near the gate was cut down a month ago. It has grown back to the same height in one month. But it's straight this time!

Anyway, these are some of the stories Bhola and I were discussing. We were also discussing Bansi. He hasn't been in touch ever since he left. Yesterday the news was that he had gone to Delhi. But today Bhola informs me that he has probably gone to Gujarat. Delhi or Vadodara, to me it matters not. I'm happy that he has left this area and gone out to explore the wide world! Hopefully he will learn from his travels and gain something from the exposure. I wish him well. But I am also sad that after spending so many days living on the ashram, he couldn't meet me or call me to say that he was leaving. I may have been able to help him or give him some advice. But that's the way people are in this area. What about all the children who studied in Dakshinayan's schools? What about the 5 "ashram boys" who spend five years with us? Except Sunil, none of the others ever came to vist me. And Sunil came not because he wanted to meet me. He had come because he and the others needed certificates stating they has studied at Baba Gyan Mandir!