Sometimes, where there's a lot to share, it becomes difficult to write -- almost as if there's a news logjam. It's been there for a while now. Ever since I got back to the project from Bolpur. Unfortunately, since I left Kolkata I have been quite unwell. The cold and cough I can put down to change of season. But I can't understand the low-grade continuous fever and the headache.
Anyway, that too should be a good excuse for not updating the blog. I just don't feel like sitting at the computer. All I wish to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. But sleep eludes me. So once in a while I drag myself to the desk and reply to pending emails. And of course, put off writing this blog!
I would have probably put off writing this entry, had it not been for the fact that I am feeling very lonely at the moment and dinner's still an hour away! Suman is busy in the kitchen and I am in my room. There's no one else here. Jon left last Thursday. Jemma left on Saturday. That leaves only Suman and me on the project.
It's pretty quiet once school is over. And the night becomes even more quiet now that winter is creeping up. Not many people about. Not even the dogs. Bruni spends most of her time sleeping in the sun or curled up on my easy chair once it get's dark. Sometimes she likes to sit in the kitchen near the oven. Sometimes she couldn't be bothered. She's pregnant and definitely not her cheery self these days. The only time she perks up is when you are eating something.
Even though I arrived last Sunday before last, I have not been teaching. Jon, Jemma and kids were in routine rhythm and I didn't wish to disturb it. Now that both Jon and Jemma are gone, I have started teaching again. I'm teaching classes 3 and 4 as usual and Bhola is somehow managing Nursery and classes one and two with the help of the "big boys and girls". This time when I got back I heard some complaints about them. I think the fact that they are teaching is making them too big for their non-existent boots! But now that I am back, they seem to be behaving as usual. What happens to people when I'm away? Suman plays the clown and behaves like a 5-year-old and Bhola becomes a giggly teenager!
But the project apparently returned to "normal" as soon as I stepped in through the gate. But how long will I stay? I know I'll be here for a few more months at least with a few trips to Kolkata or Bolpur in between. But I have finally decided to move away. I may set up base in Bolpur from where I can easily reach Kolkata or even Delhi if needed. Besides, with my failing health, I and a lot of my friends, feel that I should allow myself some "comforts" and be in some place where medical help is available. Considering all these, Bolpur seems ideally located. It's only a 5 hour drive from Roldih. And it's about 3 hours from Kolkata. It has all the amenities of a city and being a university town it has a good ambience and the people are cultured and intelligent. I won't lack intellectual stimulation for sure.
And it would certainly make sense for me to stay in Bolpur especially as I am all geared up to start the Ashram for Elders and Orphans. Though it's all in the planning stage and all I've got at the moment is a half-baked "concept", I'm sure I'm onto something that is not only close to my heart, but something that really excites me and gives a the necessary impetus to continue living a worthwhile life. I may life forever, but I know my years are numbered. And belive me, I'm being practical and not morbid.
If you wish to know more about Amrit Aangan -- Ashram fro Elders and Orphans, write to me. I'll s end you the "concept paper" which you can go through and give me more ideas and suggestions. I've already circulated it to a few people and I've received some very contructive critique. I certainly need to work on the concept some more before I can actually go out and seek help to transform it into reality. I've already seen the area where I wish to set it all up. But there's still a lot more work to be done at the planning stage before we can make a final blueprint. What's encouraging is that all those who have heard about it have been very enthused by the idea and have pledged their support. That in itself is a good sign.
So what about Roldih? At this point I don't really know. I will certainly not close it down. The school is providing "quality" education and I am sure the kids enjoy coming here to study. But the problem is that it's almost impossible to find teachers! How long could I possibly run this school single-handed? There's some hope that an ex-colleague, Deena Sah, may be re-joining us. It would really be good if he does. He's working elsewhere and is doing well. But he also wishes to come to Roldih because it's closer to his home than his present place of work. Besides, he's worked with me for 14 years -- both in Cheo and Paharpur and was at one point the coordinator of the Paharpur Centre. He knows the area since he belongs here. He knows me and he knows Dakshinayan. Besides, he's mature and will probably be a good "authority figure" which is so badly needed to make things function smoothly in this area. At this point I've got my fingers crossed.
Meanwhile, there's Bhola helping me out. He comes in the morning during school hours. Teaches the kids in nursery and class 1 and 2. Then he goes home to attend to his shop and newly-started taxi business. Then most evenings he comes back. Sometimes he goes on village visits -- at least he did go with Jon and Jemma to a few of the villages nearby.
So that's the story so far. It's amazing that even though I had so much to say, I've managed to wrap it all up in a few words! I'm sure there's much I've left out. But I'll be writing again soon. Right now, however, I have to go to the kitchen because Suman's calling me. ...
